Category: MLW

The Midnight Express. The Rock and Roll Express. The Road Warriors. Deuce and Domino. At one time or another, these were tag team champions, and on this week’s episode of MLW Fusion, one duo will join the ranks of championship teams that tag each other in.

One of the teams competing for such a distinction is The Dirty Blondes, who open the show with the rest of Stud Stable. Colonel Rob Parker is having a strategy meeting for the Tag Team Championship match. There’s a picture behind him of a ring with north, south, east, and west marked on each side of it. I love the Stud Stable. Those were five words I never thought I would say back in 1995 watching WCW Saturday Night.

After the title sequence, Rich Bocchini and Tony Schiavone welcome us. They run down the night’s card and announce MLW Battle Riot, which will take place in New York City on July 19 (yours truly will be there).

They play a video from MLW.com of Heavyweight Champion Shane “Swerve” Strickland talking about how he’s not worried about the $20,000 bounty that Salina de la Renta has placed on his head. Out from behind him comes Brody King, who beats Swerve down in his attempt to earn the bounty.

After that, we go to Casey Lennox, who’s backstage with MVP. He says his opponent for the first match, Maxwell J. Friedman, is going to “reform school.” He moves on to Sami Callihan and states that whenever he and Callihan meet, it’s bloody and painful. I know where he’s coming from. It’s always painful when I have to see Sami Callihan on my TV.

MVP vs. Maxwell J. Friedman

Ring announcer Tim Barr informs us that Friedman has a “summer residence” in Southampton, NY, kind of like the Million Dollar Man back in his heyday. Unfortunately, the chyron lists Friedman as being from “South Hamptons.” Seriously, production team, double check that you spell the towns right.

Friedman cuts a promo where he runs down MVP. Apparently, one of MVP’s nicknames is the “Ronin” (which according to Wikipedia is a samurai without lord or master during the feudal period of Japan). Friedman calls MVP a “jabronin’ ronin.” Um…okay.

MVP comes out next. The match isn’t anything special. Towards the end, Friedman mocks the Ballin’ Elbow, but MVP gets his knees up and blocks the move. He throws Friedman with a release overhead belly to belly suplex followed by his own Ballin’ Elbow. He hits the Playmaker before Callihan and his army try to interfere. MVP takes each man out and then planchas to the outside on Callihan and Leon Scott. When he tries to get back in the ring, Friedman kicks the second rope into his balls, stacks him up (with feet on the ropes for leverage) and gets the 1-2-3.

Schiavone hypes Battle Riot and explains the rules. There are 40 men. A new man enters every minute. Eliminations occur by pinfall, submission, or by throwing an opponent over the top rope and to the floor. There are no disqualifications. Some of the men announced are Jake Hager, Barrington Hughes, Jimmy Yuta, and Pentagon, Jr. MLW has announced some other participants on Twitter, including John Morrison and the freakin’ “Taskmaster” Kevin Sullivan! I am very much looking forward to this.

Casey Lennox is backstage with Barrington Hughes. She asks for his thoughts on de la Renta’s bounty and Brody King’s attack on Swerve. Hughes asks Lennox how she’d feel if she saw one of her own friends going through what Swerve’s going through and proclaims that de la Renta is a terrible human.

TBD, another team in the Tag Team Championship match, cut a promo. Jimmy Yuta speaks but is interrupted by Jason Cade, who says he’s the captain of the team. Furthermore, he’s going to lead them to victory because they’re the best duo.

Simon Gotch Prize Fight Challenge

Team Filthy come out in their usual conga line, which I find pretty funny. Gotch lays down the challenge for someone to get his “filthy money.” He says “filthy money” like an evil villain, which makes sense because he was a Vaudevillain.

This week, Mike Parrow of Stud Stable answers Gotch’s $250 challenge. Parrow dominates in the beginning, shoulder tackling Gotch to the outside. After some scuffling on the floor, the match heads back into the ring. Parrow goes for a chokeslam but Gotch reverses it into a leg submission. Parrow makes it to the ropes, but while he tries to pull himself up to his feet, Tom Lawlor hits Parrow with a foreign object (Gotch was distracting the ref). Gotch gets the pin and keeps his $250. The Dirty Blondes come out and chase Team Filthy off.

Brody King cuts a promo where he tells Swerve that he left him laid out in the parking lot and challenges him to a match next week.

They show the footage of King’s attack again while Schiavone interviews MLW CEO Court Bauer, who is calling from Swerve’s home. He doesn’t want to sanction a match between King and Swerve, but Swerve wants the match, so he’s going to give it to him.

Anything Goes Elimination Match for the MLW Tag Team Championship: The Dirty Blondes (Michael Patrick and Leo Brien) vs. Team TBD (Jimmy Yuta and Jason Cade) vs. Lucha Brothers (Pentagon, Jr. and Rey Fenix)

All three teams enter the ring before the classic ring introductions. I like when wrestling promotions do this. It makes the match feel bigger.

It’s clear by the response that each team gets from the crowd that Lucha Brothers are the favorites, and who could blame them? These guys are awesome.

Everybody is fighting at the same time. THANK YOU. If this were WWE, we might be subject to people having to tag in and out- in an anything goes match. Or we might have two guys in the ring at a time and have the possibility of two partners having to face each other. In a match like this, having all the guys fight at one time makes the most sense and makes for a better match anyway.

The match started with Yuta getting superkicked by Fenix while Yuta was distracted by Pentagon’s “Cero Miedo” taunt. From there, the action never lets up. There’s all sorts of dives in the beginning, even a senton off the apron by Michael Patrick.

The Blondes are the first team eliminated after a flying elbow drop from Yuta and a top rope splash by Cade.

The match kicks in to an even higher gear. At one point, Team TBD are both trapped in the corner (Cade on his butt, Yuta in the tree of woe) and Fenix monkey flips Pentagon into both of them.

TBD comes back and looks like they are on the verge of victory when Yuta German suplexes Fenix. However, Cade is showboating and not paying attention to Pentagon, who breaks up the pin.

Fenix makes a big save late in the match as Yuta hits a Samoan driver on Pentagon and goes for the pin, only two be broken up by a springboard dropkick that earns a “this is awesome” chant.

Cade and Pentagon fight in the center of the ring. Cade goes for a handspring codebreaker but Pentagon dropkicks him mid-spring. What a spot!

A funny verbal botch takes place when Cade has Pentagon in a fireman’s carry and yells “Cero Mero, huh?” Good for Marc Mero. Finally, he’s getting some respect.

Cade finally gets the handspring codebreaker on Pentagon and then sends him to the outside, where he executes a suicide dive.

The Brothers get the upper hand and go for a superkick/Fear Factor combination, which I thought was the end but only garners a two count.

Cade and Yuta come back. They try to finish the match with the flying elbow/splash combination on Fenix, but he kicks out. Then, the seeds of dissension in TBD are sown even further. Yuta holds Fenix in a full nelson. Cade goes to hit Fenix, but Fenix escapes Yuta’s clutches and Cade ends up hitting his partner, calling him “stupid” after the mishap.

The Brothers take advantage and send Cade to the outside. Yuta is impaled on the mat by a double stomp spike Pentagon Driver. Pentagon gets the three count, and Lucha Brothers are the first MLW Tag Team Champions.

The celebration begins as the Brothers’ manager, Salina de la Renta, brings in a bottle of Patrón for each man. They start pouring it into their mouths before Pentagon graciously gives fans in the front row a sip. I love this team and everything about them.

The match between Strickland and King is announced for next week and we’re done.

Final Thoughts:

• I still can’t believe I thought MVP was going to be a world champion ten years ago. What a shame. I wonder why he fell out of favor with WWE. Regardless, I’m still glad to see him doing his thing.
• I was shocked by how easily Parrow was beaten by Gotch. I mean, it did take interference to do it, but I just thought Parrow was going to dominate and collect the $250. I wonder where this is all leading to. Havoc and Lawlor are in the middle of a feud right now. Are we also going to start seeing faction warfare between Team Filthy and Stud Stable?
• For a guy who calls himself the Caramel Colossus, Hughes talks like a normal guy. I thought he would be some kind of character like Mark Henry back in the “Sexual Chocolate” days. Right now, I don’t see him anything more than Swerve’s obese friend.
• What can I say about the tag match? You just have to watch it. Nothing I write can do it justice. I remember thinking a while back that The Blondes would be the first champs, but once Lucha Brothers were announced, I should have just gone with my gut. Fenix and Pentagon are the two best wrestlers in MLW right now.
• Rich Bocchini was really good on commentary during the main event. He sounded invested in who would become the first champs and brought even more drama to the match.

That’s it for this week. Follow me on Twitter (@CliffofDoom). I have to go mow my lawn now. Have a good one!

It’s finally here. After five weeks of anticipation, Pentagon, Jr. is challenging Shane “Swerve” Strickland for the MLW World Heavyweight Championship. It’s the first MLW title defense and I hope both men deliver.

Watch this week’s episiode of Fusion right here!

The show opens with Swerve and Barrington Hughes rolling up to the arena in an expensive red convertible. Strickland gets out and is flanked by reporters and photographers. Salina de la Renta approaches him and says that his car and his title are both rentals. She walks as Hughes calls her a “broomstick,” which he explains means she’s a “witch.” Swerve is about to say that she’s more like a “bitch,” but he gets cut off by the opening title card. That was pretty funny.

Tony Schiavone and Rich Bocchini welcome us and hype the big title match.

 

Santana Garrett vs. Chelsea Green

Winner: Santana Garrett with a jumping DDT

Thoughts and Highlights

• I believe this is the first women’s match on Fusion.
• These two started off as friends and then Green slapped Garrett, which turned the match into more of a stiffer brawl.
• After the slap, Green went into crazy woman mode, smearing her lipstick all over her mouth.
• One interesting move by Green was when she had Garrett on her knees and held her arms back. Then, she pushed Garrett into the middle turnbuckle with her foot a few times. Garrett hit the turnbuckle like someone hitting their face into a car dashboard during a sudden stop because they weren’t wearing a seatbelt.
• One awkward spot in the match was towards the end where Garrett went for a kick. Green dodged it. Garrett just turned her back on Green like she was just waiting for the next move to happen, which ended up being a lungblower. I guess Green should have gotten the move off quicker but it made Garrett look like a dope for just standing there.
• The two hugged after the match. I thought Green was going to turn but she turned off the crazy once the bell rang. Not a bad match.

 

We get a recap of Team Filthy’s beatdown on Jimmy Havoc followed by a promo from Lawlor. He apologizes for the beating and for the fact that Havoc can’t take a “vicious punch.” He mocks Havoc for being in British, saying that he’s probably in “London town” drinking tea and eating crumpets. After listening to some of Havoc’s promos, I think he likes to drink blood with his crumpets instead. Lawlor finishes by saying that Havoc can’t take him in the ring and he apologizes for that, too. Lawlor wasn’t the smoothest in this promo but he came across as an arrogant d—, which he’s pretty good at.

 

Simon Gotch Prize Fight Challenge

Winner: Simon Gotch (Duh- it’s his open challenge)

Thoughts and Highlights

• The “prize” in this open challenge is $250. What a cheap bastard.
• The first man to accept the open challenge was Danny Santiago. I was wondering if this guy was a jobber and he was. Three things confirmed this:

1. He didn’t even get his name displayed on the chyron.
2. He was wearing a white belt, which is the lowest level in Brazilian jiu-jitsu (I have to credit Bing with helping me on that one).
3. When he took off his jacket, his physique was…well…let’s just say unimpressive.

• Gotch won after a T-bone suplex and a Gotch piledriver.
• Gotch reached into the bag holding the money and pulled out an even smaller bag containing the $250. He waved it in Santiago’s face.

 

Kaci Lennox is outside Martin J. Friedman’s dressing room door, where she’s waiting for him to arrive. All of a sudden, Aria Blake and Joey Janela walk out of Friedman’s room. Janela is smoking a cigarette and drinking a Corona. Lennox asks why they were in there and Janela just says they weren’t doing anything bad.

After a commercial, Friedman arrives at his dressing room. Lennox is about to interview him when he smells smoke. He walks into his dressing room and it’s trashed. Cigarette ashes are all over his $3,000 shirt, there’s domestic beer cans all over the place, and there’s a condom on the floor (which was blurred out). Friedman is incensed and storms out of the room.

 

MLW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Shane “Swerve” Strickland (champion) vs. Pentagon, Jr. w/Salina de la Renta

We’re less than thirty minutes in and it’s time for the main event. A video package plays showing the events leading up to this match, including Pentagon’s mind games and the red mist attack from two weeks ago. We get a tale of the tape before heading out to the arena for the entrances. Pentagon is out first and spits his red mist at the top of the aisle. I hope he has enough left over to use for the match.

A mariachi band comes into the ring and plays the Mexican national anthem. The crowd was respectful for the most part. Nobody booed and nobody chanted “U.S.A.” while it was going on. In fact, they applauded after it was over. The whole crowd reaction was very 2018. If this were 1988, garbage would have been thrown in the ring and Jesse Ventura would have been talking about “Chico” Santana’s tacos.

Pentagon had the “Cero Miedo” hand sign over his heart during the anthem. Nice touch.

Swerve comes out next and I think there’s definitely some crowd sweetening. Some of the cheering just didn’t sound like it was live.

Winner: Shane “Swerve” Strickland after the Swerve Stomp

Thoughts and Highlights

• This was a slower paced match but it wasn’t boring.
• At one point, Pentagon tied Swerve’s hands to the middle rope using audio cables and began chopping him. The ref was admonishing Pentagon for this but then just kind of let Pentagon do his thing.
• Bocchini compared Swerve to a “young Jon Jones.” Let’s just hope Swerve’s career doesn’t take a left turn at cocaine use and hit and run accidents.
• The pace started picking up when both men booted each other in the face. The ref began a double 20 count as they lay on the mat and the show went to commercial. That was kind of a weird spot to give Blue Moon their ad time.
• Pentagon hit a Canadian Destroyer on the apron. I thought for a second that we were going to get a countout finish but thankfully Pentagon got Swerve back in the ring.
• Towards the end of the match, Pentagon brought a chair into the ring. I don’t like when heels bring foreign objects like chairs or title belts into the ring right in front of the ref’s eyes, especially if they’re the ones challenging for the title. Why would you get yourself intentionally disqualified? It makes “cero” sense.
• Before the Swerve Stomp, Pentagon attempted to spit red mist into Swerve’s face, but Swerve ducked and de la Renta ended up getting the spicy spit in her face instead. Now, whereas Swerve reacted like he was going blind when the mist ended up in his face two weeks back, de la Renta just looked annoyed and acted like someone had spilt cranberry juice on her nice white clothes. She didn’t even look like her sight was affected in any way. It made Swerve look like an overreacting wuss.

 

After the show goes off the air, we get a commercial for next week’s episode, where former WWE superstars Rich Swann and Jake Hager (Jack Swagger) will make their MLW debuts. We’ll also see Jeff Cobb (Matanza Cueto) on Fusion for the first time as he takes on Hager.

 

Final Thoughts

• I really dug this week’s episode. The comedy on the show was just the right amount and it didn’t feel forced. When I watch Raw or Smackdown, I think to myself that the comedy on those shows feels contrived, like Vince McMahon has a comedy quota that needs to be filled in each episode. The funny spots on this show were quick and didn’t overstay their welcome.
• I’m happy to see Simon Gotch featured in MLW. Not every guy’s career works out in WWE but he’s talented and I’m glad to see him spotlighted. His membership in Team Filthy and the open challenge gimmick are going to help him get over.
• I loved the segment with Friedman in the dressing room and can’t wait to see a Friedman/Janela feud play out. It seems natural- the refined one percenter vs. the sloppy degenerate.
• I was more impressed with Swerve this week than in his match with Jimmy Havoc.
• Rich Bocchini is irritating and comes off as a dunce to me. When Schiavone questioned why Pentagon would bring a chair into the ring, Bocchini’s response was “You have to use that chair to make it illegal.” DUH. That’s the whole reason why Schiavone was questioning it.

That’s it for this week. Follow me on Twitter (@CliffofDoom). If you live in the States, enjoy your long weekend and please remember all of the men and women who died to protect America. Have a good week!

We’re one week away from Shane “Swerve” Strickland’s first World Title defense on MLW Fusion. The question is, will it be Pentagon, Jr. or his brother Rey Fenix? Pentagon’s red mist attack on Swerve last week forced MLW officials to strip him of his title shot and put it on the line in a re-match between the two luchadores. We’ll find out who’ll be the #1 contender tonight.

We start with a video recap showing how this week’s main event came to fruition. Tony Schiavone and Rich Bocchini welcome us to the show and update us on the condition of Swerve, which includes seeing eyes specialists at John Hopkins University.

Kotto Brazil vs. Trey Miguel

Winner: Trey Miguel after a jumping double knee smash from the top rope.

Thoughts

• Miguel’s nickname is the “Fresh Prince of Mid-Air.” That’s pretty creative.
• This was a cruiserweight match with action so quick that it was hard to keep up.
• There were some pretty innovative spots, including a running Sliced Bread #2 from Brazil and a corner 619 from Miguel with Brazil’s head tucked into the top turnbuckle. I’m looking forward to seeing these two in action again.

They play a tape of an interview that Rich Bocchini had earlier in the week with Salina de la Renta from her palatial estate. She’s very arrogant and clearly likes the smell of her own s—. The interview ends when she pushes Bocchini in the pool.

That interview is immediately followed by another one backstage with de la Renta. This time the person holding the mic is Andrea Ocampo. De la Renta announces that she’s signed both Pentagon and Fenix, meaning that she’s guaranteed to get the MLW World Title in her faction.

We get a recap of last week’s main event between Jimmy Havoc and Joey Janela and the post-match beatdown outside the arena by Team Filthy on Havoc. A camera walks up to a jacuzzi occupied by Tom Lawlor and Simon Gotch. They say that Havoc deserved a beating and aren’t worried about the repercussions. After seeing some of Havoc’s handiwork, I’d be worried. Maybe when he’s done with them, they’ll be less sensitive to people bumping into them.

The Dirty Blondes vs. Team TBD in an Elimination Match

Winner: The Dirty Blondes

Order of Elimination

• First Elimination: Michael Patrick pinned Jimmy Yuta after Yuta landed a diving crossbody but Patrick rolled through and grabbed the tights for the three count.
• Second Elimination: Jason Cade pinned Michael Patrick with Black Magic (backslide driver).
• Final Elimination: Brien pinned Cade after the ref was distracted and the Blondes hit an illegal double Alabama Slam.

After the match, Cade pushes Yuta away from him. They argue backstage. Ocampo interviews them. Yuta says they’re going to win the Tag Title tournament. Considering Cade’s attitude after losing the match and in an inset promo where he called himself the “captain” of the team, I smell a heel turn.

Swerve is interviewed by Ocampo. She asks how he’s recovering from the red mist attack. He says he doesn’t believe that Pentagon has zero fear. Furthermore, Pentagon can take his arms, his legs, or even his head; Pentagon still can’t take his heart. I don’t know, Swerve. If you lose all those body parts, Pentagon can pretty much take whatever he wants.

Pentagon, Jr. vs. Rey Fenix to become the #1 Contender to the MLW World Title

Winner: Pentagon, Jr. after hitting the Fear Factor

Thoughts

• Another excellent main event between the two brothers.
• Pentagon is so good with the crowd and they love him. Out of all the wrestlers I’ve seen on Fusion so far, I think Pentagon is the biggest star.

We get some replays of the match, an announcement of next week’s World Title match, and go off the air.

Final Thoughts

• The wrestling on this week’s show was exceptional from start to finish.
• I’m not a big fan of Swerve, especially on the mic. I believe the word “painful” can describe this week’s interview.
• After the first five episodes of Fusion, I have to say that it is SO MUCH easier to watch than Raw or Smackdown. I know Fusion is only an hour long compared to three hours on Monday and two hours on Tuesday, but still, MLW is entertaining from start to finish while Raw and Smackdown drag. Fusion lives up to its name with a variation of fighting styles. Plus, no two matches each week are the same. In WWE, I feel like if I watch one match on the show then I’ve seen all of them. You know when a rest spot is coming, you know when they’re going to commercial, and you know when the finish is coming. Predictability isn’t always bad, but it certainly isn’t always good, either. MLW keeps me engaged and interested for its entirety.

That’s it for this week. Next week, Pentagon will finally challenge Swerve for the World Title and I certainly hope we see a champion with “Cero Miedo.” Follow me on Twitter (@CliffofDoom). Have a good week!

Watch this week’s episode of MLW FUSION below:

I was excited because I didn’t have anything to do this past Friday night, so I could watch MLW Fusion live instead of recording it like I usually do. Imagine my surprise when I turned on beIN Sports at 8:00 and saw a bunch of studio analysts talking about that most un-American of games, soccer. How dare they preempt my favorite fake sport with my least favorite fake sport?!

Luckily, it was only a 15-minute delay. All is right with the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfhF-BHvpIs&t=823s

We open up with a video package hyping the show’s main event, Jimmy Havoc vs. Joey Janela. They play clips of hardcore wrestling by the two competitors and just like last week, I’m subjected to watching Havoc lick his lips at the thought of licking Janela’s blood. I’m uncomfortable again and there’s still 59 minutes left.

Tony Schiavone and Rich Bocchini welcome us to the show. They recap the events that took place between MVP and Sami Callihan and between Tom Lawlor and ACH from last week’s show. The cameras follow Shane Strickland as he enters the arena.

“Filthy” Tom Lawlor vs. ACH

As Lawlor makes his way to the ring, we get an ACH promo where he calls Team Filthy “Mixed Martial Asshats.” Sick burn, bro.

ACH makes his way to the ring next. He’s announced as originally being from Planet Vegeta, which Schiavone informs us is a reference to Dragonball Z. I thought ring announcer Tim Barr said Planet Fajita. Now I’m hungry.

Tom Lawlor takes his mouthguard out of his trunks and puts it in his mouth. I have no words.

Lawlor starts with a double leg takedown into the corner. He’s trying to keep ACH grounded and prevent his aerial attack. He gives ACH a kick to the back and then decides to give him a free shot. Lawlor sits down awaiting a kick in the back. ACH strikes and somehow hurts himself.

ACH ends up on his butt. Lawlor goes to kick ACH in the back again but it’s a psych out and goes for a choke instead. ACH quickly makes it to the ropes.

Lawlor ends up on his back and challenges ACH to come after him. ACH charges but gets tripped up. However, Lawlor ends up in a pinning combination but kicks out. A few more pin attempts by ACH follows. He realizes they aren’t working and hits a double front leg dropkick instead. They head to the outside and we go to commercial.

When the show returns, Schiavone is mid-sentence, saying “And that enabled Lawlor to open up this offense.” What did?! We have absolutely no context for this statement, which MLW keeps doing over and over again. It really bothers me. I understand the show is not live and the announcers are not calling the match in some studio during post-production, but it just sounds stupid to have the broadcasters talking about something that happened during commercial without any explanation for those of us not in the arena.

Anyway, Lawlor is in charge now and hits a jumping back elbow. He mounts ACH and rains down punches like it’s the octagon and he’s trying to get the ref to stop the fight. A cross armbreaker attempt is blocked by ACH. He gets to his feet and hits a hip toss but Lawlor comes back with a kick to the chest. Lawlor tries another submission with a front facelock. The ref checks for a choke. After another submission is applied, ACH goes for a pin. Lawlor kicks out and executes a vertical suplex followed by a wrist lock submission into what looks to be a Million Dollar Dream.

ACH makes it to his feet and gets backdropped but he lands on his feet. After some leapfrogs, ACH sweeps Lawlor’s leg and hits a basement dropkick. Lawlor is thrown into the ropes but holds on to them. ACH charges and is backdropped to the apron. ACH lands on his feet. He gets a shoulder into Lawlor’s gut, lands an enzuigiri, springboards off the middle rope, and crushes Lawlor with a reverse STO. The fans start an “ACH” chant.

ACH chops Lawlor in the corner and Irish whips him. He hits a running forearm smash and comes off the ropes, only to be met by a jumping forearm smash from Lawlor. Lawlor tries the same move again but is caught and pays with a backbreaker/bridging suplex combo, which only gets a two count. ACH lifts his opponent up in an electric chair position, but Lawlor escapes and kicks ACH’s leg out from under him. Lawlor tries some rolling Germans but ACH elbows out after the first one.

Lawlor stops ACH’s momentum with a chinlock, which the announcers call a choke and treat it like a serious submission maneuver. I guess it is because ACH looks like he’s going to pass out. The ref raises ACH’s hand twice. On the third lift, ACH’s hand stays up. He gets up and pushes off the corner with his feet, falling backwards and pinning Lawlor the same way that Bret Hart pinned Roddy Piper at WrestleMania VIII. I love that pin. This time, though, it only gets two.

Lawlor keeps the choke locked on but ACH manages to victory roll Lawlor and land on him with a standing frogsplash. Again, the pin only gets two. Simon Gotch stands on the apron to distract the ref. Lawlor takes off the protective padding from his left arm that covers the steel rod and bolts that were used repair his injury. He channels his inner Lex Luger and knocks ACH out with the unprotected limb. The Filthy One immediately gets the choke on ACH, who the ref sees is on dream street and calls for the bell.

Winner- “Filthy” Tom Lawlor

Bocchini informs us of an incident that happened backstage. The cameras show Shane Strickland confronting Pentagon’s manager, Salina de la Renta. He takes issue with the morbid shrine that was put in his dressing room “a little bit ago,” which makes it sound like it happened an hour ago ago, not last week. Pentagon comes from behind Swerve. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Pentagon spits red mist into the champ’s eyes. Pentagon definitely telegraphed that mist spot. In reality, Swerve could have avoided the mist easily, but this isn’t reality, so he gets blinded. Renta and Penta (that’s my cute name for these two) walk away and Swerve writhes around on the ground in pain.

After a commercial, we see Strickland being aided by two officials in the back as he stands over a sink, throwing water in his eyes to try and regain his sight.

Maxwell J. Friedman vs. Fred Yehi

EC3 makes his way to the ring. Wait. Nope. That’s Maxwell J. Friedman, who I find out is from Plainview, NY, not too far from me. Not that you, the reader, should care. A fan gives him the finger and he could care less. The camera focuses on some bald guy standing and giving Freidman a glove clap. I thought he was his manager but I think it’s just a big Maxwell J. Friedman fan.

Fred Yehi comes out next. I don’t think anybody knows how to say this guy’s last name. Throughout the course of this match, his name will be pronounced “yeah-high,” “yee-haw,” and “yah-ha.” Why don’t we just replace the “h” with a “t” and call him a Yeti?

Friedman runs his mouth to start the match. We get some chain wrestling before Friedman escapes to the outside. He comes back in and wants to shake hands. Schiavone calls him a “punk.” I adore Schiavone insults.

Yehi doesn’t take the handshake. After some back and forth, Friedman falls to his stomach and expects Yehi to hop over him, but gets his hand stomped instead. Friedman wants another handshake but Yehi slaps it away. Freidman kicks him in the gut but Yehi returns with a flurry of offense.

Friedman ends up lying on the apron and calls for a time out. Yehi reaches over and grabs Friedman, but the spoiled rich kid clotheslines Yehi’s left arm over the top rope. He hits a springboard codebreaker on the arm and works it over further with some armbars. Yehi escapes the last armbar with chops and headbutts. Friedman tries to grab the armbar again, but Yehi uses more chops followed by a double stomp and a basement dropkick. Friedman falls victim to some quick knee lifts. Then, in a pretty cool spot, Yehi grabs Friedman’s arms, falls to his back, and lays in some rapid-fire boots to his opponent’s chest. A dragon suplex only gets two.

Friedman begs off in the corner but Yehi stomps on him relentlessly. Yehi goes to charge at Friedman but Friedman pulls the ref in front of him. Yehi pulls the ref out of the way. Friedman takes advantage of the ref’s temporary inattentiveness and pokes Yehi in the eye. He hops to the second rope and double stomps the worn down left arm, giving him the opportunity to roll up Yehi with a handful of trunks for the three count.

Winner- EC-damn it!-Maxwell J. Friedman

Andrea Ocampo meets Friedman at the top of the aisle. Friedman demands that a fan he calls “tubby” give him his chair. He has a seat after a hard-fought victory and starts insulting the crowd, telling them they probably don’t know who he is because they don’t have internet. He introduces himself and says he feels bad for Fred because he won’t be able to use the winner’s purse for his next three trips to Golden Corral. Fred seems pretty thin to me. I don’t think he’s going to Golden Corral. Friedman continues by lamenting that he’s jealous of the fans because they don’t know what it’s like to be him. He goes home to a perfect 10 that’s hard to deal with (Tye Dillenger?) and has a subpar limo driver, but it’s his cross to bear. He ends by saying he’s better than everyone and thanks Ocampo, noting that it’s hard to find good help these days.

One more commercial break airs before we get a video package showing what happened between Sami Callihan and MVP, followed by a backstage interview with Callihan. He proclaims that he talks when he wants to and calls himself a machine gun of an enigma. What? That weird description aside, he said he’s creating an army of like minded individuals. The mystery man that helped him beat MVP last week appears. Callihan says his army won’t just take over wrestling but will also take over everything. That’s vague. He and mystery man give the “thumbs up, thumbs down” gesture. I wonder if he was inspired by Batista.

We get footage of a press conference held by Court Bauer announcing that MLW will be in NYC on July 19. Hmm, maybe yours truly will have to go.

After a recap of Pentagon hocking a big, red, blindness causing loogy in Shane Strickland’s eyes, the announcers inform us that Pentagon is being forced to put his #1 contender spot on the line against Rey Fenix next week. Yes! If spitting mist into someone’s eyes means we get another Pentagon/Fenix match, then I hope the whole roster goes blind.

Jimmy Havoc vs. Joey Janela w/ Aria Blake in a Bogus Adventure Match.

It’s main event time. Schiavone says that a Bogus Adventure Match is the “ultimate mystery match.” We don’t know what kind of weapons will be used.

Both men try to bicycle kick each other twice. Havoc is sent to the outside, where Janela connects with a suicide dive through the ropes. Havoc gets control of the match and tries a suicide dive of his own but Janela throws a chair at him. He continues the punishment with a suplex onto another chair!

Back in the ring, Janela gets a two count. He hits a basement dropkick. Havoc answers back with some elbows. They go at each other with dueling chops. Janela goes to the top rope and misses a moonsault. Havoc throws him with a half nelson driver and a sit-out scoop slam. He goes to the outside and pulls…a door out from under the ring. I guess this is one of the mystery weapons. Bocchini is perplexed by the presence of the door and Schiavone responds by asking “Isn’t there always a door under the ring?” Tony, you should remember. Back in the WCW days, [Ultimate] Warrior demanded that a door be installed IN the ring so that he could disappear and mess with Hollywood Hogan’s head. The only thing it really messed with was the British Bulldog’s back when he got slammed into it.

Havoc sets up the door in the door. Janela attacks him and wraps a chair around his neck. He puts Havoc into position and jumps off the second rope with a back elbow, causing Havoc to fall into another chair. It’s not enough to keep Havoc down as he answers back with a discus clothesline and a pump handle slam on a chair for a two count.

Havoc smacks a chair over Janela’s back. My wife, who was watching this with me, saw the way Janela sold the chair shot and just said “bad acting.” My wife, everybody.

Havoc jabs Janela in the stomach with the chair and hits some elbows. He sits Janela in a chair in the corner and goes for a monkey flip, which fails. It looked like a botch but Janela wisely gets up quickly and sends Havoc to the mat with a vertical suplex. He lays a chair on top of Havoc, goes to the top rope, and Swanton Bombs Havoc. I don’t know who that hurt more.

Janela slides some chairs into the ring, causing them to hit Havoc. He also pulls out a table. Back in the ring, Janela hits Havoc over the back with a chair, but Havoc comes back by smashing a chair over Janela’s head. He gets the Bad Boy up in a fireman’s carry but he escapes and drives Havoc’s head into a pile of chairs with a package piledriver. He lays Havoc on the table and attempts to send him through it with a senton, but Havoc moves. Janela crashes through the table, gets up, and is sent through the door by Havoc with a running double front leg dropkick. Havoc continues the onslaught with a Death Valley Driver on the chairs and finally the Acid Rainmaker for the 1-2-3.

Winner: Jimmy Havoc

The cameras follow Havoc up the aisle and into the back. Oh, you know something bad’s about to happen here. Havoc exits the arena holding his head and bumps into Tom Lawlor. This is too much for Lawlor to bear. Team Filthy beats up Havoc and leaves him lying on the ground in agony. Lawlor whines that Havoc got blood on his outfit. The last shot shows Havoc on the ground with a look on his face that says “I’m in pain and pissed off.” If there were a crowd of wrestling fans outside, they’d be chanting that Lawlor just “f—ed up!”

Final Thoughts

On an episode “Something to Wrestle with Bruce Prichard” that I recently listened to, Conrad Thompson and Prichard commented that there really are no more original ideas in wrestling because everything’s been done. That’s not a bad thing. Go with what works- just don’t do it all the time. I mention this because I liked the way the Lawlor/ACH match ended. Using an injury as a secret weapon has been an effective wrestling trope and I’m glad that a scumbag heel like Lawlor is using it.

Maxwell J. Friedman was good in the ring but he really shined on the mic. Yeah, he has a similar look and gimmick to EC3, but he was still entertaining.

Here’s what I know about Sami Callihan: he had a cup of coffee in NXT, he almost took out Eddie Edward’s eye, and his promos annoy me. I don’t like this man.

The Bogus Adventure Match was fun. I thought there’d be more surprise weapons but whatever. There was constant back and forth action and little to no stalling- and nobody licked anybody else’s blood! That’s an automatic five-star rating from me!

I suppose Lawlor’s attack on Havoc means that Havoc is a face now. It makes sense. He seems like the kind of heel that fans want to cheer.

Did I mention that I was excited by another Pentagon/Fenix main event? Well, I am.

That’s it for this week. Hopefully, that game that the United States is really bad at doesn’t interrupt my sports-entertainment next Friday.

Have a good week!

When I heard that WWE was airing the Greatest Royal Rumble, I thought I was just going to see a replay of the 1992 Rumble. When the show started, I said to myself “This is not the Knickerbocker Arena. Something’s fishy.” My suspicions were confirmed when Triple H and John Cena came out for the first match instead of the The Orient Express and The New Foundation, so I turned it off and watched this week’s episode of MLW Fusion instead.

I totally just made up that story. I watched GRR and recorded Fusion, but after watching the five-hour commercial for Saudi Arabia, I wish I had just watched Fusion live instead.

Fusion’s second week offering starts with a video package highlighting the feud between Shane “Swerve” Strickland and Jimmy Havoc. Havoc has two wins over Strickland and tonight is Strickland’s night to redeem himself. Strickland says “Swerve is Confidence.” Well, I’m glad Swerve is Confidence because Havoc is Psychotic. The dude licked an axe blade.

The Dirty Blondes vs. Team TBD

Rich Bocchini and Mr. Multi-Year Deal Tony Schiavone welcome us to the show and send us to the ring where we see Colonel Rob Parker, who introduces The Dirty Blondes, Leo Brien and Michael Patrick. The Dirty Blondes are members of Parker’s newest version of the Stud Stable faction.

Team TBD, which includes Jason Cade and Jimmy (The Great) Yuta enter next. Cade and Brien start the match. We get some back story as the announcers mention that Cade was sent to a local medical facility- I’m sorry, a hospital- because of The Dirty Blondes.

The bell rings and Cade dropkicks Brien. He hits him with a forearm and tags in Yuta. They execute Poetry in Motion with Cade kneeing Brien in the face. Patrick is tagged in and Yuta locks him into a submission where he uses his feet to twist Patrick’s arms. Cade is tagged in and TBD does a backdrop/backflip combo onto Patrick.

Patrick sneaks a tag to Brien, who blindsides Cade. Brien pays tribute to Dusty Rhodes with a Bionic Elbow. Upon closer examination, it looks like someone took Dusty’s body from the 80s and put Brien’s head on top of it. Eerie. Patrick is tagged in and the Blondes hit a double Bionic Elbows followed by a quick succession of elbow drops.

The announcers mention that there will be an upcoming tournament to crown the first ever MLW Tag Team Champions.

Brien uses some rest holds on Cade. Cade makes a comeback with a bicycle kick and a jumping neckbreaker. Brien tags in Patrick while Cade makes the hot tag to Yuta, who knocks down Patrick with a springboard overhead chop. He dropkicks Brien and chops Patrick some more. Patrick reverses an Irish whip, but Yuta flips over the top rope, kicks Patrick, and hits him with a diving crossbody. Brien breaks up the pin.

All four guys are in the ring now. Brien gets sent to the outside and Cade lands on him with a slingshot tope suicida. In the ring, Yuta runs to the ropes but Parker trips him. Patrick attacks with an elbow drop to the back of Yuta’s head, and that’s all it takes to get the three count and the victory for The Dirty Blondes. Wow. An elbow drop? Hey, they don’t all have to be One Winged Angels and Red Arrows.

Bocchini says that he’s “sure” Colonel Robert Parker got involved to help The Blondes win the match. Well, if he’s a heel manager, he probably did. Plus, instant replayed revealed Parker’s interference. So did watching it in real-time.

Ultimo Ninja vs. Garza Jr.

Last week we got two brothers fighting in Pentagon Jr. and Rey Fenix. This week, we get a “clash of cousins” between Ultimo Ninja and Garza Jr. What’s with all these luchadores fighting their own family members? It took Owen Hart kicking Bret’s leg out of his leg for the Hitman to agree to fight his brother. These guys just say “You want me to beat up my own flesh and blood? Okay.”

Ultimo Ninja comes out first. Well, I’ll be. I thought the only Ultimo out there was a dragon.

Salina de la Renta comes out next, escorted by two security guards. Following her is her charge, Garza Jr. Garza is wearing shoulder tape. He also looks like he has huge birth marks on his back, but Schiavone informs us that they are marks from suction cups that were used during Garza’s physical therapy.

The match starts with some showing followed by a quick succession of leapfrogs and counters. The two have a stand-off before more action ensues. Ninja hits a handspring back elbow and some kicks. Bocchini informs us that Garza trains in an underwater tank with an octopus. I’ve heard they’re good sparring partners.

Ninja does the “Shh” knife edge chop spot. The crowd chants for one more, but Ninja doesn’t deliver and instead opts for a spinning heel kick. Garza gets in a pair of flying clotheslines. Ninja comes running at him put Garza puts his hand up and yells “Stop!” Then, he does his best Magic Mike impression and rips off his pants to reveal his man parts. Just kidding. He’s wearing red trunks. He throws the pants in the air and Ninja tries to catch them, which leaves him open for a superkick. Garza covers for two.

Garza brings Ninja down with a double underhook slam. He puts Ninja into the tree of woe and connects with a running kick. Schiavone says “Woe, that connected.” Earn that multi-year money, Tony.

Eventually, Ninja is able to send Garza to the outside and flies with an over the top rope tope suicida onto his opponent. The ref starts a 20 count but both men make it back inside.

The announcers talk about how Garza is a rudo (heel) and Ninja is a tecnico (face). Is that considered breaking kayfabe? Do the announcers in CMLL or AAA openly talk about which guys are rudos or tecnicos? I just know that it would be weird for me to hear Michael Cole refer to The Miz as a heel in the midst of calling a match, but maybe that kind of thing is normal in lucha libre.

Ninja bodyslams Garza, which sets him up to execute a backwards somersault into a standing moonsault, which gets a two-count. Garza gets control of the match with a front dropkick, a wheelbarrow double knee gutbuster, and a headbutt. He tries to do the “Shh” knife edge chop spot as well, but the sound the chop makes is underwhelming. He goes for a monkey flip, but Ninja lands on his feet and knocks Garza down with a spinning kick to the back of the head.

Ninja goads Garza into charging at him but moves at the last second, causing his opponent to run into the ring post. Ninja climbs to the top and hits a missile dropkick. They trade pins before trading Rings of Saturn submission holds. Garza gets it on second. Ninja escapes and kicks Garza in the face. Both men are down.

They get back to their feet. Garza pushes Ninja into the ropes, where de la Renta snatches his mask right off his head. Ninja covers his face, giving Garza the opportunity to pin him with an O’Connor roll for the win. Ninja lies on the mat with a towel wrapped around his face while Garza kisses his manager’s hand.

We get a recap of the awesome main event between Pentagon and Fenix from last week. Pentagon earned a shot at Shane Strickland and the World Heavyweight Championship, which is taking place at the May 3 “Intimidation Games” TV taping.

Next is a video package for “Filthy” Tom Lawlor. He says that there is only one star currently in UFC and professional wrestling, and that’s him. Well, Tom, you’re currently suspended from one sport and the other sport you’re in is fake, so I guess your assertion is bunk. The video is also rife with highlights from his training sessions, which includes punching his trainees in the balls. I don’t know if that’s the best way to recruit prospective students.

Rob Parker is interviewed backstage, flanked by The Dirty Blondes. He talks about how he’s managed and had a hand in the success of some of wrestling’s biggest names, including Steve Austin, Sid Vicious, and Harlem Heat. Now, he’s going to do the same for The Dirty Blondes.

MVP cuts a promo on Sami Callahan, his opponent next week. He says that wins and losses matter and he needs to climb MLW’s ranking system. He made a promise to his son to be a good role model and one way he can do that is by winning the MLW World Heavyweight Title. The promo ends with MVP saying that no matter what you’ve done in the past, there’s always redemption. Well, if Impact stays in business, perhaps there WILL always be Redemption.

Shane “Swerve” Strickland vs. “England’s Most Dangerous Man” Jimmy Havoc

We get a second video package for the main event. Strickland says he’s still here, even after losing to Havoc twice. Havoc says Strickland just doesn’t know when to quit. We see Havoc’s handiwork from his hardcore match with Swerve, including putting the champ through a table and double stomping a barbed wired chair on him. Strickland ends the hype video by saying he will beat Havoc and win the MLW World Heavyweight Championship. Wait, isn’t he already the champion?

The tale of the tape analyzes the two competitors’ fighting styles before going back to the arena.

Strickland comes out first. He’s not announced as the World Champion nor is he wearing a title belt, so this must have been recorded before he won the championship. Ring announcer Tim Barr proclaims Strickland as being from Tacoma but the chyron says Seattle. Maybe I’m nit-picking, but I like consistency.

On a side note, I like Strickland’s theme song, “Ain’t Nobody” by Chaka Khan and Rufus.

Havoc comes out next sporting a muzzle. Strickland better hope Havoc isn’t hungry.

The match starts and Strickland comes out of the gate with a running boot to the face. Havoc answers back with an elbow smash and a short-arm lariat. He comes at Strickland, who counters with a knee strike and a top rope basement dropkick. He stomps Havoc in the corner and locks in a submission where he hooks both of Havoc’s arms with his legs, bending the right arm back. Havoc screams that his arm “doesn’t bend that way!” I don’t think the hold would be as effective if he bent it the correct way, Jimmy.

Strickland lets the move go. He whips Havoc into the corner but it’s reversed. Havoc charges but Swerve gets a boot up. He hops onto the second rope, but Havoc kicks his leg out from under him, causing the champ to get crotched onto the second rope, leaving him open for a double knee jawbreaker.

Strickland ends up on the apron, where Havoc clotheslines him on the top rope. Swerve spills to the floor. He makes it back in and eats an elbow strike. Swerve hits a spinning kick and a 619 to Havoc’s torso. Havoc tries a sunset flip pinning attempt, but Strickland escapes and kicks havoc right in the back of the head.

We cut to a commercial, and when we come back, it sounds like Bocchini is in mid-sentence.

Strickland gets sent into the corner but fires back with a roll through jumping cutter. He starts to chop England’s Most Dangerous Man, who asks for more after each one. After a few more chops, Swerve is ready to put him away with a running boot, but Havoc catches it and sends Swerve face first into the mat. The champ gets up and is immediately dumped on his head with a Canadian Destroyer. The onslaught continues with another elbow smash/short-arm lariat combination. He covers but Strickland gets out at two!

Havoc stays on the attack and traps his opponent in a Cobra Clutch with body scissors. Strickland efforts his way out of the hold. He goes for a kick but Havoc ducks and kicks the ref. Havoc goes for the Acid Rainmaker but Strickland avoids it and knees Havoc in the face. He covers for an eternity before realizing the ref is still out cold. Strickland tends to the ref, leaving himself defenseless when Havoc low blows him. Strickland gets rolled up. Havoc has a handful of tights but the pin only gets a two count.

Havoc looks to put it away with the Acid Rainmaker but Strickland ducks and hits one of his own. Havoc goes out to the apron. Strickland hits an elbow strike. Havoc falls to his butt, where he gets a superkick. He hangs off the side of the apron and tries to get himself back up. His effort is futile as Swerve sends him to the floor with a double stomp. Strickland gets Havoc back into the ring, where he sits on the mat for what seems like forever as he waits for Strickland to get to the top rope and hit the Swerve Stomp, which earns him the three count. Strickland took too long to get the move off. Havoc was pretty much staring up at Strickland waiting to get stomped. I’d like to think that if this were real, Havoc would have moved. Despite that, it finished the match and gave Strickland his much-desired victory over his nemesis.

After a quick ad for the next TV tapings, Andrea Ocampo interviews the champ. He asks the crowd four or five times who’s house it is. The crowd responds with “Swerve’s house!” Actually, it’s MLW’s house or whoever is hosting their TV taping. Swerve says he finally beat Havoc and that he overcomes challenges because Swerve is Confidence. He asks the crowd AGAIN who’s house it is before ending the promo and this week’s program.

Final Thoughts

Some of the production on this show was a little weird, like the inconsistency of Swerve saying he was going to become the champion while already being acknowledged as the champ, his hometown being announced as two different cities, and Bocchini’s mid-sentence remarks as the show was coming back from commercial. Maybe that’s not a big deal to some people, but I expect a professional television program so tighten those little things up.

While no match stands out to me this week as mind-blowingly fantastic (which is an unfair expectation for a weekly show anyway), I will say that the person who stood out the most for me this week is Col. Rob Parker. I like the angle of Rob Parker bringing back the Stud Stable and looking to take The Dirty Blondes to the top of the tag team division. They certainly wrestled well enough to convince me that they could be champions, and if they continue to employ the underhanded tactics of the colonel, I don’t see why they can’t.

I wasn’t blown away by MLW’s first World Champion. I’ve only seen Swerve once, but if someone put a gun to my head right now and asked me who I want to win the World Title match at the May 3 tapings, I would unhesitatingly say Pentagon Jr. I was mesmerized by his charisma last week. Plus, he has the in-ring talent that qualifies him as one of today’s best wrestlers. He’s already won the Impact Wrestling World Title. Is the MLW Title in his future?

Those are my thoughts for this week’s episode of MLW Fusion. Come back next week for more recaps and analysis. Have a good week!