After hitting John Cena with a running knee that came from out of nowhere (no Michael Cole/RKO pun intended), Daniel Bryan pinned the champ and the crowd erupted into a deafening “YES!” chant. Many believed that the Bryan era had begun in the WWE, until Orton’s music hit seconds later and basically everyone knew where it was going from there.

Since then, Bryan has been involved in a long, occasionally meandering feud with the Authority. Along the way, Bryan defeated Orton at Night of Champions to regain the title before having it stripped away the following night, battled Orton to a no contest at Battleground, got screwed out of the title by Shawn Michaels at Hell in a Cell, and has been involved in countless minor storylines along the way.

Some have complained that Bryan’s Authority program has been too drawn out and that there should have been some sort of payoff months ago. I admit that I was once in this camp. The night following Hell in a Cell, the Wyatt Family attacked Bryan, pulling him away from the main event scene for multiple months while allowing for the Big Show and John Cena to feud with Orton.

It seemed impossible to think that Bryan could maintain momentum and stay relevant without directly battling the man holding the strap. In fact, the WWE’s WrestleMania plan originally did not even include having Bryan anywhere near the main event, as it was originally rumored that he would battle Sheamus. And then Pittsburgh happened.

With the WWE banking on Batista returning and being one of the top faces of the company, the Pittsburgh crowd chewed him up and spit him out like a piece of cheap, undercooked steak. Had the crowd cheered Batista that night, there is little doubt that he would be headlining WrestleMania with Orton alone. Instead, they rejected the garbage product they were being served and could have potentially altered WWE history.

In pro wrestling, the mindset of a fan is: “what’s next?” A great match or moment happens at a pay-per-view and immediately afterwards the question becomes, “how do they follow this up on RAW tomorrow?” So while 2013 had its’ share of good moments and bad, as we near the end of the year, the question inevitably becomes, “what’s next?”

If you read the headlines here on the website on a regular basis, when it comes to WWE, it appears as if 2014 will be a year where some new blood breaks through at the top level. Where guys who are just getting started in WWE break through to that next level and become legitimate WWE Superstars. Where guys who aren’t quite there just yet, but are so close, finally reach that level. They become main event players. Who will these people be? Well, in WWE, you never really know, but let’s take a look at five guys who seem to be well on their way.

As Santa Claus fills up the gas tank in his mighty sleigh, as the New Year looms right around the corner, we’re going to take a look at three Superstars currently in WWE that will likely come into their own and reach the top of the profession within the year. It’s time to take a look at the “Top 5 Superstars To Look Out For In 2014.”

#5. Damien Sandow

WWE Hall Of Famer Jim Ross wrote about this guy recently. WWE Hall Of Famer Mick Foley talks about him on a regular basis. WWE Hall Of Famer “Stone Cold” Steve Austin has said if this guy shows a little bit more of a mean streak, he’ll be well on his way, and Damien Sandow has been doing exactly that in recent weeks. He’s a talented performer who is stuck in a pretty lame gimmick, yet he somehow makes it work. He’s entertaining, period. If the guy gets some real opportunities in 2014, which I feel he will, he could legitimately break through to the next level. Will he become the face of WWE in 2014? Doubtful. Will he ever be the face of WWE? Probably not. But will he be stuck on pay-per-view Kickoff Show matches that serve little to no purpose? I don’t think so. I think by this time next year, Damien Sandow will be a legitimate Superstar. He may not headline many shows, but I think this is one of the few guys on the current WWE roster with the talent and potential to perform at a higher level than that in which he currently resides. I think Damien Sandow is somebody to look out for in 2014.

#4. Big E. Langston

Big E. Langston is a different situation altogether. While he may not shock and awe wrestling fans with his match quality, or his promo ability for that matter, he has that certain something that WWE looks for. I wouldn’t necessarily call it an “it factor” as much as I would the ability to lift a lot of heavy weights. Vince McMahon, and to a lesser extent Triple H, both of whom have a strong passion for bodybuilding, (remember the WBF, everybody?) seem to have set their sights on Langston as a future Superstar in WWE. There may be a whole heap of performers on the current WWE roster that are more deserving of some big opportunities, but from all accounts, it appears as if 2014 will be a big year for the muscled-up Tampa native. Big E. Langston is somebody to look out for in 2014.

LOOKING AT THE REASONS FOR AND AGAINST RAW’S BIG EXPANSION
by The Solomonster (thesolomonster@gmail.com)

On January 26, 1998, WCW Monday Nitro expanded to three hours. Little more than three years later, the company was dead.

Let’s be clear though – adding an extra hour to their flagship program did not, in and of itself, kill WCW. There were many reasons for the company’s demise, two of the biggest factors being its inability to create new stars as more and more talent bailed for WWE, and the horrendous booking decisions made by the never-ending carousel of people in power. No doubt, their need to fill that extra hour was a big blow to a company that had been hot for so long. People grew tired of too much of the same thing and many of them began to turn their attention elsewhere (namely USA Network). So, does this mean that history is about to repeat itself as WWE prepares to permanently expand Monday Night Raw to three hours beginning July 23rd? Not necessarily. I would argue that if handled properly, it could actually be a great benefit to the show. But then I consider WWE’s track record of “doing the right thing” and I begin to worry. Here’s why.

Vince McMahon is taking perhaps his greatest gamble since the first WrestleMania later this year by launching a new 24-hour cable network. That is, if it ever launches. It has already been delayed once and with few, if any, clearances announced, it’s questionable if it will even roll out this fall as is currently scheduled. WWE is pumping many millions of dollars into this network and if it fails, it could be catastrophic for the company. At the same time, WWE and USA are taking a big gamble by expanding Raw to three hours this summer. Sure, if ratings ultimately suffer as a result, they can always go back to the way things were and USA can go back to airing reruns of NCIS in the 8pm hour (which have, at times, actually garnered more viewers than first-run episodes of Raw), but at what cost? Once you start driving viewers away from your product, it is very hard to get those people back. It took TNA some time to get their numbers back to the levels they were at after Impact’s failed move to Monday nights in 2010.

Two big gambles in the course of a year. What if they both fail? Yikes.

There are other things to consider. First, three hours is simply too long for a weekly wrestling show. You want three or four hours for a pay-per-view? No problem, people have been conditioned to expect that and PPV’s only come but once a month (well, most of the time). But three hours of Big Johnny promos, bad comedy and Popeye’s commercials? I shudder to even think about it. Of course, there will be people who read this and complain that if I hate the product so much, why watch? It’s a valid question. I sometimes ask myself that same thing. But then I realize, the only reason I care enough to complain is BECAUSE I am a fan. I want to see the product improve. Adding more television is not the answer. Oversaturation is a big problem when it comes to pro wrestling. Hell, it’s become a huge problem for UFC as well, a product that has arguably been hotter than wrestling for the last several years. Ratings and overall interest in UFC programming has been on the wane, though they still do pop big buyrates for PPV shows that offer compelling fights. If you give people something they want to see, they will tune in. What do you think WWE is going to give its fans with that extra hour of television? According to a press release put out this past week, it will incorporate interactive elements into the show, allowing fans to vote on matches and stipulations they would like to see throughout the broadcast. It is an interesting way to get people invested in the show, but they’ve tried this before with “Taboo Tuesday” and “Cyber Sunday”, both of which failed. It’s probably a better gimmick for free TV anyway, and I don’t have a problem with them trying something new, just like I don’t have a problem with TNA trying new ideas like “Open Fight Night” and the “Gut Check” challenges. But unless WWE changes its booking philosophy, nothing will change and interest in the product is going to continue to dwindle. We’re already starting to see signs of it.

One of the earliest three hour Raw shows I remember was the night they revived the “King of the Ring” tournament concept. William Regal was crowned king that night, but after mowing down Hornswoggle in the opening round and defeating CM Punk in a relatively brief, uneventful match in the finals, I was left disappointed. They had three hours to get those tournament matches over with the audience and failed to do so. It was the same rushed, bland matches they treat us to every week. It didn’t matter that they had all of that extra time. Why use that on in-ring action when we can just script MORE talking! MORE comedy! MORE dance contests! Dolph Ziggler issued a challenge on Twitter this week for an Iron Man match on the 1,000th episode of Raw, which kicks off the new three-hour era. I would love to see him in the ring with a John Cena or CM Punk for 30 minutes in a competitive match, and who knows, maybe we’ll get it. But anyone who doesn’t think things won’t go right back to the way they are now by week four hasn’t been paying attention. It’s going to be more of the same and that is my biggest beef with this move to three hours. It’s to the point now where even bringing back some of the biggest names from the past, men like Brock Lesnar and The Rock, have meant little to ratings. WWE cannot afford more of the same. And it doesn’t have to be that way.

At the risk of sounding all doom and gloom here, there ARE ways to make this work and improve the show overall by adding a third hour. One way of doing this would be to use it as a pre-show to the traditional two hours of Raw. When I say pre-show, I don’t mean Todd Pettengill or Dok Hendrix standing among a mob of fans waving foam fingers counting down until the top of the hour as we anxiously wait to find out if David Otunga’s bowtie will be red or purple this week, I mean a real pre-show. Steal a page from the NFL or NBA and give us studio analysis with the announcers on what we can expect from that evening’s show, an overview of the key storylines, and interviews with the superstars. You can also throw in a few matches, of course, but everything is designed to build to the main two hours and make the show feel special. Of course, WWE hates modeling itself after “real” sports and likely won’t do this. Okay, fine.

I mentioned WCW earlier. Another idea would be to borrow a page from the Nitro playbook and feature cruiserweight talent during the first hour. Again, I know Vince McMahon is not high on the cruiserweights and treated them like a joke for many years, but you cannot argue with the success Eric Bischoff had with them when he put men like Rey Mysterio, Jr. and Juventud Guerrera on TV (one of the few innovative Bischoff ideas) in feature roles. Even better, it would give WWE an opportunity to expose its audience to the smaller talent ahead of their planned cruiserweight show for the new network. That’s right, WWE is planning some sort of program for the channel built around cruiserweights and has already started reaching out to talent for it. It actually makes a lot of sense to try this. What do you have to lose?

Lastly, having an extra 60 minutes (or 40+ not counting commercials) to devote to your program gives you the opportunity to feature longer matches. WWE now has absolutely no excuse to tap into the talent they have on their roster and let them showcase it. Forget those meaningless, three-minute matches that don’t get anyone over. Now, you can let these guys go out there and show what they’re capable of. And while I’m on that subject, it’s a chance for them to show some respect to the Divas division, which is completely useless these days. Have you ever grabbed a stopwatch and timed a typical Divas match on Raw? Well I have and it’s a complete joke. Either do something with the women or scrap the entire division. With an extra hour, there are no more excuses.

Oh yeah, one more thing. Jim Ross and William Regal are the new announce team for NXT. Last time I checked, in this country at least, NXT aired on WWE’s website. Meanwhile, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are responsible for calling the action on Raw. Why not allow JR and Regal to call the 8pm hour of Raw? Both WCW and WWE at various times in their existence have had different announce teams for different hours of a particular show, so why not shake things up a bit and give Ross and Regal a seat (literally) at the table? It might also be a good way of getting people to tune in to NXT, but I don’t get the impression that is a priority of theirs right now. That’s too bad.

Will Raw’s move to three hours on Monday nights spell disaster for wrestling? Sure, long term it could. But as I’ve outlined here, if WWE plays its cards right, it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s going to require them to change the way they do things.

Will they? If the past is any indication, I don’t have a great deal of hope.

thesolomonster@gmail.com
@solomonster

Why Is It So Hard To Book Pro Wrestling?

LOOKING BACK AT SUMMERSLAM 18 YEARS AGO TODAY
by The Solomonster (thesolomonster@gmail.com)
Podcast | Twitter | Facebook

Whenever Vince McMahon likens WWE to a movie or TV show rather than sports, some fans tend to get up in arms. After all, are wrestlers not athletes? Do they not put their bodies on the line year-round and suffer serious injuries? Of course they do. But the more you stop and think about it, the man has a point. One key element pro wrestling has over sports like baseball, football and MMA is the ability to book its own finishes. Just like in any Hollywood film, the director (or promoter in this case) can script out a finale that both makes sense and satisfies the audience’s expectations. The “game” can’t be called due to bad weather. The “fight” won’t end on a swift, 10-second knockout. They have the power to give the people their money’s worth.

So why then is it seemingly so difficult for pro wrestling to get it right?

Visit any news site or discussion forum and you’re likely to drown in a sea of negativity. Welcome to the internet, folks. But when it comes to wrestling, this seems especially prevalent. ‘Oh great, so-and-so lost his match so he’s obviously being buried,’ or ‘man, what a crappy show that was. I’m never watching again!’ (as if). We’re all guilty of it in some form or fashion, so let’s just get that out of the way. Got it? Good. Now the flip side. Truth be told, we’ve seen our fair share of bad TV shows in the last couple of years. We’ve seen some horrendous booking decisions and godawful main event finishes that have nearly made our heads explode. But enough about Vince Russo… the fact is this. You can’t ALWAYS give fans what they want to see. Not every match is going to have a perfectly logical conclusion. Often times, injuries and suspensions can spoil whatever long-term plans a promoter may have mapped out, and for that, I sympathize. And while you can argue that CM Punk has cooled off a bit since his title win over John Cena in Chicago, that PPV was a great example of what happens when wrestling gets it right.

Still, why do these people make such dumb decisions? Why must the hometown hero lose in their hometown 95% of the time? Why must someone who is getting over with the crowd be booked on a losing streak, thus killing whatever momentum they may have? I bring all of this up because A) it’s a relevant question to ask, and B) I wanted to use it as a segue to talk about one of the all-time great blunders in PPV finishes that occurred 18 years ago today. A finish, mind you, that Vince McMahon, a man that some people credit as being a genius, actually thought was a good idea.

August 30, 1993. The site was the Palace of Auburn Hills in Auburn Hills, Michigan. It was WWE’s second biggest event of the year, Summerslam, and it boasted an impressive lineup for that time. Shawn Michaels and Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental title was like a wet dream for fans of technical wrestling. Bret Hart and Jerry “The King” Lawler were set to finally lock horns after Bret had been viciously attacked following his KOTR victory. And in the main event, Yokozuna, the evil foreigner, would defend his championship against the newly-minted All-American hero, Lex Luger. Now before I go any further, I must point out that the original booking plan for the show had Hulk Hogan putting over Bret Hart for the title, which would have cemented Bret as a main event player much sooner. However, Hogan balked at the idea and decided he would rather drop the title to Yokozuna and flee the company than put over teeny-tiny Bret Hart, forcing a change in plans. That said, there’s still no excuse for their Plan B.

When Hogan left, it left a void at top babyface for the company. They tried Bret Hart in that role already and he didn’t exactly light their business on fire, so he wasn’t the answer. So they decided to turn Luger, who had been a heel since his debut about six months earlier, and transform him into a modern day version of Hogan (only better, you see, because he had a steel plate in his arm!). To their credit, they went all the way with it. The Fourth of July chopper landing on the Intrepid when Luger slammed Yokozuna was a great piece of marketing. Then they had Luger travel cross-country on a bus called “The Lex Express” straight through to Summerslam. I mean, you would have thought the guy was running for political office the way he spent over a month on that bus, shaking hands and kissing babies. To cap it off, Jim Cornette, serving as the champ’s American spokesperson, forced Luger to agree to the stipulation that if he didn’t win the title at the PPV, he would never get another title shot. The stage had been set for an epic championship victory for Luger and the United States, right? Right? Well, not exactly.

Lex Luger would not have been my first choice to lead the company if I had the book. But I didn’t. Hell, I wasn’t even old enough to vote at the time. But you know what? Vince McMahon had a vision and you can tell he was hell-bent on seeing it through. At least he wasn’t half-assing it with the guy. Summerslam arrived and the arena was decked out in red, white and blue. They paraded country singer Aaron Neville out there to sing the national anthem. Out comes Luger to a pretty good response from the crowd (and a new haircut) and we’re off to the races. I’m not going to spend time breaking down this match other than to say it was every American vs. foreigner WWE main event you’ve ever seen, including the dreaded NERVE HOLD OF DOOM. Luger rallies from certain defeat, Cornette tries to interfere, Mr. Fuji tries to interfere, all to no avail. Then comes the big climax – Luger fires off the ropes and clobbers Yokozuna with his loaded forearm, knocking the big guy out to the floor in a heap. The Palace is going crazy. As a fan watching at home on TV, I can recall thinking to myself, ‘boy, he better get Yoko back inside before the referee counts to ten.’ I waited and waited until I saw something rather odd. Luger was making no attempt whatsoever to bring him back inside and seemed perfectly content to leave him laying. In fact, it appeared he was COUNTING ALONG with the referee!

‘Is this guy a moron?’ I wondered. ‘You can’t win the title on a count out. Get him back inside! What’s wrong with you?!’

He never did bring him back inside. The referee counted to ten and called for the bell. And with that, Lex Luger would forever become the poster-child for ignorant, dumb babyfaces. Yet, there was Vince McMahon on commentary going orgasmic over what we had just witnessed. Out came other equally dumb babyfaces like Randy Savage, Tatanka and the Steiner Brothers to celebrate and hoist Luger up onto their shoulders as balloons and confetti rained down from the ceiling. These days, Vince loves to have his announcers throw the term “Bizzaroland” around whenever the Canadian fans cheer for the heels and boo the faces, but back at that very moment, I thought I was living in “Bizzaroland” myself. You spent all of that time and effort to get Luger over to the masses, only to have him fail the fans and make him look stupid? I didn’t get it 18 years ago, and all these years later, it’s just as mind-boggling.

Luger was never the same after that. He was still positioned as the top babyface and got nice reactions, but by the Royal Rumble, it was obvious the fans wanted Bret Hart in that role. Perhaps if they had gone all the way with him at Summerslam, things might have turned out differently. It’s been said the reason for the finish is that at the last minute, Vince McMahon decided that he wanted Luger to win the title at WrestleMania X instead. Of course, that never happened. Instead, at WM11 the following year, Luger was curtain-jerking in a tag match against the Blu Brothers. Talk about a fall from grace.

Pro wrestling shouldn’t be this hard. You control your own destiny. How an intelligent person like Vince McMahon could have thought it was a wise move to book that main event finish, we may never know for sure. But on this day 18 years ago, it wasn’t the first time and damn sure would not be the last time we would see a promoter do such a thing and it begs the question, why is it so hard to book pro wrestling?

The answer is, it’s not. It’s just easier to screw it all up.

thesolomonster@gmail.com

Looking Back At WWE’s King of the Ring

WHO WAS REALLY HELPED BY WEARING THE CROWN?
by The Solomonster (thesolomonster@gmail.com)
Podcast | Twitter | Facebook

This Monday’s 3-hour edition of Raw from Philadelphia will mark the 19th installment of WWE’s King of the Ring tournament. The event actually began as a house show attraction all the way back in 1985, and it wasn’t until 1993 that it was promoted to pay-per-view status. In 2003, the company decided to abandon the tournament altogether due to declining PPV buys, but has resurrected it a few times since to boost TV ratings.

The purpose of this editorial is to evaluate each of the KOTR winners from 1993 onward and where their career took them subsequent to their winning the crown. Did they move on to bigger and better things? Did they disappear off the face of the earth? Moreover, if they did move on to legendary status, can that be attributed to their victory in this tournament? Of course, there’s no way of knowing for sure, but it makes for an interesting look back as we prepare to crown a new king and is sure to spark some debate in the comments section below.

Before we jump into things, let us not forget the notable names who donned the crown, wore the royal robe and carried the mighty scepter from 1985-1991 (there was no tournament held in ’90 or ’92). These names, in order, include Don Muraco, Harley Race, Randy Savage, Ted DiBiase, Tito Santana and Bret Hart. Some heavy hitters and Hall of Famers in this list, but I doubt anyone is going to attribute their victories here to their later success. Let’s begin!

Bret “The Hitman” Hart

1993 King of the Ring (Dayton, Ohio)

In many ways, this was designed as a consolation gift to Bret after losing the WWF Title in ridiculous fashion a few months earlier at WrestleMania IX. After dropping the title to Yokozuna in the main event off interference by Mr. Fuji, Hulk Hogan ran down to check on the Hitman’s well-being (as if) and a few minutes later, was dropping the leg on the giant Samoan to claim his 5th World championship. It was a creative, yet ludicrous way to get the strap off one babyface and onto another in quick fashion and marginalized Hart as a main eventer. Instead of building towards a Hogan/Hart showdown at Summerslam for the title, Hulk put the kibosh on that and decided to drop the belt back to Yokozuna on this show. As such, Bret was put over strongly in this tournament, having good to great matches with Razor Ramon, Mr. Perfect and Bam Bam Bigelow all in one night. The match with Hennig may actually be better than their Summerslam encounter a few years earlier, and the match with Bigelow is HIGHLY underrated. Of course, we all know that during Hart’s coronation, he was interrupted and assaulted by Jerry “The King” Lawler, igniting a feud that would last the better part of two years.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

Bret went on to feud with Jerry Lawler for several months before co-winning the Royal Rumble with Lex Luger. He regained the WWF Title from Yokozuna at WrestleMania 10 and would win several more championships before being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2006. A fine career, for sure, but did winning this tournament really have much to do with it? After all, he had already won his first World title (as well as the Intercontinental and Tag belts) before capturing the crown. Verdict: No.

FUN FACT: Hart is still the only person to technically win this tournament twice, if you include his first non-televised victory in 1991 (defeating IRS in the Finals).

Owen Hart

1994 King of the Ring (Baltimore, Maryland)

“The Rocket” had always played second fiddle to big brother Bret and was ready to step out of The Hitman’s shadow. So began a memorable sibling rivalry with Owen defeating Bret at WrestleMania 10 in shocking (clean) fashion. Later that same evening, pulling double duty, Bret won the WWF Title, which put Owen in an interesting position having beaten the new champion only a few hours earlier. He entered the KOTR tournament a few months later, running through Tatanka, 1-2-3 Kid and Razor Ramon en route to the crown. In the Finals, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, who had returned as a surprise guest in Bret’s corner for his earlier title defense against Diesel, returned to ringside and turned heel, attacking Ramon and assisting Owen. This led to a memorable coronation where Owen first referred to himself as the “King of Harts”, a name that would stay with him for many years afterwards.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

Owen earned himself a shot at the WWF Title against brother Bret inside a Steel Cage at Summerslam only two months later, though that likely had more to do with his WrestleMania win in March. While he fell short in his bid for the belt, he did go on to hold multiple Tag Team titles and the Intercontinental championship. Owen’s untimely death in May 1999 leaves open the question of whether he would have one day won a World title, making his KOTR win one of the more prolific victories of his entire career. If nothing else, it gave rise to the “King of Harts” nickname. Verdict: Yes.

FUN FACT: Retired football star Art Donovan, a local celebrity of sorts, was a guest announcer for the pay-per-view alongside Gorilla Monsoon and Randy Savage. He was atrocious. I mean, he makes Michael Cole sound like Gordon Solie in comparison. Even Monsoon and Savage began ignoring his incessant questions mid-way through the show. He would constantly ask, “How much does ‘dis guy weigh?” everytime a wrestler would appear, without fail. If you should see this man in public (yes, he’s still alive), avoid conversation at all costs.

Mabel (of Men on a Mission)

1995 King of the Ring (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Let’s not beat around the bush here. 1995 was not a kind year to WWE and this show completely sucked. There was not a single good match, not in the tournament itself, nor in any of the other pay-per-view matches, which featured Bret Hart and Jerry Lawler in a “Kiss My Foot” match and a tag team main event of Diesel and Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sid and Tatanka. Maybe it’s appropriate then that Mabel, the 568 pound baggy pajama-wearing half of the Men on a Mission tag team, would win this year’s King of the Ring. I mean, when Shawn Michaels is eliminated from the First Round, it’s really only downhill from there. Defeating both The Undertaker and Savio Vega (he received a bye in the Semi-Finals), Mabel took his place on the royal throne as his partner, now billed as Sir Mo, read a royal proclamation from a scroll, all the while being pelted by garbage from an angry crowd (well, it is Philly after all, what do you expect). What a waste this entire thing was.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

King Mabel was such a stupid character, it’s hard to imagine what Vince McMahon was thinking when he conceived of him as being the top heel in his company. As a result of winning KOTR, Mabel did earn himself a crack at Diesel’s WWF Title at Summerslam, so in that respect, he benefited from winning. However, he lost to Diesel and would never sniff the main event again in his career, later returning as Viscera, a member of Undertaker’s Ministry of Darkness and, later, a love machine decked out in a Hugh Hefner robe. Thankfully, this was the highlight of his career. Verdict: Fuck no.

FUN FACT: WWE actually had a custom King of the Ring title belt made for Mabel which is still in existence, though I don’t believe he ever wore it on television. To see pictures of the belt, designed by the great Reggie Parks, click here and here.

“Stone Cold” Steve Austin

1996 King of the Ring (Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

This was the first KOTR where only the Semi-Finals and Finals were shown on PPV, which eliminated the emotion of watching someone potentially having to wrestle three times in one night. Just one month after losing his manager, Ted DiBiase, Steve Austin was given a chance to shine on his own, engaging in a terrific battle with “Wildman” Marc Mero that saw him accidentally bust open Austin’s lip. After winning the match, Austin received 16 stitches backstage and returned later to defeat Jake “The Snake” Roberts in short order to take the crown. Then came… the interview. This was the first real opportunity Austin had to speak on his own since his debut on the Brother Love Show months earlier and he made it a memorable occasion. As the “born again” Jake Roberts was being carried out by officials, Austin spoke of John 3:16 and how “Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!”, sparking a marketing movement the likes of which WWE had not seen since the days of Hulkamania. A star was born on this night.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

Stone Cold actually floundered after winning this tournament, defeating Yokozuna in a match on the Summerslam pre-show after the two previous winners had gone on to battle for the World title on that show the last two years. But then came a career-making feud with Bret Hart and eventually the first of several World Titles. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2009. Would he have become a big star without the “Austin 3:16” speech? Most likely. But that phrase came to define the Attitude Era and absolutely benefited Austin for the rest of his career. Verdict: Hell yeah.

FUN FACT: Triple H had been pegged to win the tournament this year, that is until the infamous “Curtain Call” incident took place at MSG a month earlier and Hunter was made to be the scapegoat. Austin got the nod instead and the rest, as they say, is history.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley

1997 King of the Ring (Providence, Rhode Island)

For the record, Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels had a MUCH better singles match on this show than they did at WrestleMania 14. I mean, it’s not even close. People like to talk about how gutsy Michaels was at Mania, doing that match with a broken back, but that doesn’t mean it was a good match. Anyway, it may have been delayed by a year, but Triple H finally got his big KOTR win here, defeating Ahmed Johnson and Mankind. In fact, Hunter had actually LOST to Ahmed via DQ in their Quarter-Final match on TV weeks prior, but complained he was not properly instructed by WWF officials prior to the bout and threatened to sue unless he was given a second chance. He took the place of an injured Vader in a match with Crush and advanced to face Ahmed in a rematch in the Semi-Finals, which he won. So I guess we can trace his political maneuvering all the way back to this tournament.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

The only thing of note that came out of this tournament for Hunter was the start of a feud with Mankind, who he would feud with in various incarnations for years afterward. He lost to Foley in a Steel Cage match at Summerslam after this show, so much like Austin, he too did not get a crack at the WWF Title right away. It would actually be more than two years before he would win his first. He and Michaels would go on to form D-Generation X a few months later, but largely, his victory here meant little to his career. Verdict: Not really.

FUN FACT: This was actually the fifth King of the Ring to emanate from the Providence Civic Center, with the first four held between 1987-91, giving them the honor of hosting the greatest number of tournaments.

Ken Shamrock

1998 King of the Ring (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)

This event is notable for two reasons, neither of which include Ken Shamrock’s tournament victory. Kane won his first WWF Title from Steve Austin in a “First Blood” Match while The Undertaker nearly killed Mankind in the most famous “Hell in a Cell” match to this day. Meanwhile, Shamrock defeated Jeff Jarrett and The Rock on this night to take the crown, and his match with The Rock was actually REALLY good. The two men had great chemistry stemming from their feud over the Intercontinental title earlier in the year and it showed here. Behind 1993, this is probably my favorite King of the Ring from top to bottom as it was a very noteworthy show with some great action.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

I never thought Shamrock realized his full potential in the WWF. He could have had a run with the World title, but the closest he ever came was a PPV man event with Shawn Michaels the year prior. Following this tournament, he went on to win the Intercontinental title and became a Tag Team champion with Big Bossman after joining Vince McMahon’s corporate faction. By 2000, he was back doing MMA, though he did become NWA Champion in the early days of Total Nonstop Action. Verdict: No.

FUN FACT: Mick Foley can talk about how that second bump in the “Hell in a Cell” match was not scripted, but he’s full of shit. Do you really think they would climb back up on top of the cage without having another big fall planned? Plus, look at the light manner in which Undertaker chokeslams him (more like shoves him) and we’re supposed to believe he wasn’t meant to fall through? Puh-leeze.

”Badass” Billy Gunn

1999 King of the Ring (Greensboro, North Carolina)

Right in the thick of the boom period, and coming just one month after Raw scored its highest ratings EVER, the WWF decided to use this tournament for the right reasons, to help get one of their mid-card performers over. Unfortunately, they chose Billy Gunn. The guy had a great look and was a decent in-ring performer, but he wasn’t really a good promo and his work never really improved. I give credit to the company for trying, but much like Mabel, this was a wasted opportunity to spotlight someone with real talent. Gunn defeated Ken Shamrock, Kane ad X-Pac in a series of 5-minute matches to win the crown. Elsewhere on the card, Steve Austin lost to Vince & Shane McMahon in a Ladder Match for control of the company and Undertaker retained his WWF Title over The Rock. In a dark match, Meat (Sean Stasiak) defeated Kurt Angle a full five months before losing to Angle in Kurt’s TV debut at Survivor Series. One year later, he would be king. When Kurt is inducted into the Hall of Fame, let’s hope they make no mention of the fact he once lost to a man named Meat. Fuck you, Vince Russo.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

Mr. Ass (who did have some catchy theme music) never did get a crack at the World title and the highest profile PPV match he had after this show was his singles bout with The Rock at Summerslam, which did more to bring Rock down a notch than it did to bring Billy up at all. That will forever be remembered as one of Jim Ross’s greatest calls as he exclaimed, “The Rock just put Billy Gunn’s face in that large woman’s ass!” Don’t ask. Verdict: Hahaha.

FUN FACT: The next night on Raw, Steve Austin defeated Undertaker to win back the WWF Title. This would mark the second consecutive year that Austin won the World title the night after KOTR after having beaten Taker’s little brother Kane to do the same thing the year prior.

Kurt Angle

2000 King of the Ring (Boston, Massachusetts)

Less than a year earlier, Angle made his WWF debut. In that time, he had captured both the European and Intercontinental titles. Here, he ran through Chris Jericho, Crash Holly and Rikishi on the same night to become King of the Ring. His star was solidly on the rise and this tournament was a mere stepping stone to greater things. Elsewhere on the card, The Rock won the WWF Title by pinning Vince McMahon in a 6-Man Tag (the third title change in as many months) and Pat Patterson fought Gerald Brisco in a Hardcore Evening Gown match. I can’t even blame Russo for this absurdity as he was already out of the company by this time.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

Angle’s landmark first year would continue as he defeated The Rock to win the WWF Title just four months later at No Mercy. Before that, he was square in the middle of a love triangle storyline that also included Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. Angle would win many more titles and wrestle 4-5 star matches with the likes of Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Brock Lesnar, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and others. The crown was incidental in his later success, but it’s still a fine accomplishment to have on his Hall of Fame resume. Verdict: Maybe a little.

FUN FACT: Val Venis defeated both Jeff Hardy and Eddie Guerrero during this tournament. A few weeks later, he defeated Rikishi for the Intercontinental title on Smackdown. I just felt like pointing this out to illustrate that the last big push Val Venis got was 10 years ago. I feel old.

Edge

2001 King of the Ring (East Rutherford, New Jersey)

Before he was the “Rated-R Superstar” with 10 World titles under his belt, Edge was a lowly tag team wrestler. Admittedly, he had a certain look to him that made me think big things were in his future, and I like to still take credit for saying way back in 1998 that he would one day be the heavyweight champion. On this night, Team RECK (Rhyno, Edge, Christian and Kurt Angle) was divided amongst itself as they competed against each other in a pair of Semi-Final matches. In the end, Edge defeated Angle after Kurt had not only wrestled Christian, but also defeated Shane McMahon in a brutal 26 minute streetfight. The man is a freaking machine. In other action, Steve Austin retained his WWF Title in a Triple Threat Match against Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit. This was the match where Benoit didn’t really injure his neck as per the storyline (he already knew he would need surgery), but I’m sure this didn’t make it feel any better.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

Instead of being propelled into contention for the World title, Edge continued teaming with Christian before his “brother” turned on him and they closed out the year feuding over the Intercontinental title. It would be 4½ years before Edge would win his first WWE Title, so I cannot credit this tournament with having anything at all to do with his later success. In retrospect, his Money in the Bank victory was bigger than this. Verdict: No.

FUN FACT: Booker T made his WWE debut on this show as part of the WCW invasion storyline, attacking Steve Austin during the main event and planting him through the Spanish announce table. He also injured Austin legit on the move, which is not the greatest first impression to make.

Brock Lesnar

2002 King of the Ring (Columbus, Ohio)

Has anyone ever had as successful a first year as Brock Lesnar? Kurt Angle comes close, but even he can’t match what Lesnar was able to accomplish since his April debut – winning KOTR, becoming Undisputed WWE champion, winning the Royal Rumble and main eventing WrestleMania (defeating Angle for his second title). With Paul Heyman acting as his agent, Lesnar steamrolled through Test and Rob Van Dam on the PPV to become king. In other action, Kurt Angle became the first man in memory to make a babyface Hulk Hogan cleanly tap out in the middle of the ring, while Undertaker and Triple H had one of the WORST title matches in company history. Omigod.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

How can you say he didn’t? I know I said earlier that Kurt Angle benefited “only a little” from winning the crown, but he had already won titles beforehand. This was Brock’s first major accomplishment in WWE and two months later, he was killing Hulk Hogan on TV and pinning The Rock at Summerslam to win the Undisputed belt. Verdict: Yes.

FUN FACT: This was the show where Steve Austin was to have faced Eddie Guerrero, but Ric Flair took his spot after Austin walked out on the company over a week earlier. Ironically, this all stemmed from a dispute between Austin and WWE where Vince McMahon wanted Austin to lose to the future King Lesnar in a KOTR Qualifier on Raw. Not wanting to give such a big match away for free on TV with no build, Austin refused and the two sides could not reach an agreement.

Booker T

2006 King of the Ring (Phoenix, Arizona)

This was the first televised KOTR tournament not to air on pay-per-view. Matches were held over a one month period, culminating in Booker T defeating Bobby Lashley at Judgment Day. From that point forward, until the end of his WWE career, he used the name “King Booker” with an annoying British accent and formed his own “Court” which included Queen Sharmell, William Regal and Finlay. Two months later, he would win the World title from Rey Mysterio. This was largely a forgettable tournament designed as a gimmick for Booker.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

As I mentioned, Booker went on to win the World title two months later, his last in WWE before departing for TNA later the following year. Much of his success had already come and gone before this tournament, but it was clearly designed to help get over the “King Booker” character. In that respect, it was a success and did wonders to freshen up his already stale character before it got over-the-top aggravating. Verdict: Yes, and we suffered for it.

FUN FACT: This was the first and, to date, only King of the Ring tournament exclusive to the Smackdown brand.

William Regal

2008 King of the Ring (Greenville, South Carolina)

After an absence the year prior, the KOTR tournament was resurrected on Raw in 2008, though unlike last time, it was open to stars from Raw, Smackdown and ECW. It was among the worst tournaments the company has ever hosted, with William Regal defeating Hornswoggle in under 20 seconds in the opening round. After a KO victory over Finlay in a short match, he went on to defeat CM Punk in the Finals in a disappointing four minute match. At the time, Regal was serving as Raw General Manager (remember when they weren’t anonymous?), enjoying a great amount of TV time and thriving in the role. After winning the crown, one would think even bigger things were in his future, perhaps even a run with the title. Think again.

Did Thou Benefit From Wearing The Crown?

Regal was a hit in the role of Raw GM and was garnering heat the likes of which would not be seen until Vickie Guerrero started getting over in that same role on Smackdown. After winning KOTR, as hot as he was, it’s not out of the realm of possibility WWE could have given him a run with the Raw title. Unfortunately, he promptly failed his second Wellness exam, resulting in a 60-day suspension from which he never fully recovered. I can’t blame WWE for not pushing Regal upon his return, he really has no one to blame but himself. Verdict: Never had the chance.

FUN FACT: On this same edition of Raw, “Barack Obama” battled “Hilary Clinton” to a no contest. Sports entertainment at its finest, folks.

AND THE 2010 KING WILL BE…

[WARNING: Spoilers for Friday’s show are included.]
The latest installment of the King of the Ring returns to Philly this Monday and will include an even spread of four stars each from Raw and Smackdown. Representing Raw will be Sheamus, John Morrison, Daniel Bryan and Ezekiel Jackson, while Smackdown gives us Alberto Del Rio, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre and Kofi Kingston. Without the benefit of knowing what the brackets will be, it’s tough to make a prediction. Despite the fact that Raw will once again have THREE HOURS to fill, I’m positive we’ll end up with a bunch of 3-minute matches, which is a shame as there is some great talent here that can really go. If I had to pick one name from each brand, I’d go with Sheamus and Del Rio. There have been a disproportionate number of heel winners dating back to 1994 (in contrast to the Royal Rumble, which shows the opposite pattern), so while not an indicator of anything definite, it’s always safer to go with a heel pick. If I had to narrow it down, I’d say Sheamus wins the entire thing even though I acknowledge they could very well bring back Triple H to cost him the tournament.

Do you agree or disagree with Solomonster’s analysis? Who do YOU think will win the 2010 King of the Ring this Monday? Let your voices be heard in the comments section below!

thesolomonster@gmail.com

SEScoops’ Official Survivor Series “Pick One and Be Done!”

by The Solomonster (thesolomonster@gmail.com)
Podcast | Twitter | Facebook

This Sunday marks the 24th annual WWE Survivor Series from Miami, Florida. While I thought about doing another preview and predictions-style editorial, it’s not a card that has inspired much in the way of excitement. In fact, before Raw this week, we knew all of three matches on the show. It feels slapped together like most other WWE pay-per-views these days and it’s hard to believe that once upon a time, Survivor Series was considered one of the “Big Four” annual shows. That may no longer be true, but I figured it would be fun to celebrate its history by choosing one match (and only one!) from each of the last 23 shows to highlight, right here on SEScoops!

As for the criteria, I’m not necessarily picking the “best” match on each show. This is all very subjective, of course, but I’ve chosen to go with matches that stand out to me the most either because they were simply GREAT or are often unfairly overlooked for other classic matches. Let’s pick one and be done!

1987

Strike Force, Fabulous Rougeaus, Killer Bees, Young Stallions and British Bulldogs
vs.
The Islanders, Hart Foundation, Demolition, Bolsheviks and New Dream Team

These early shows were completely made up of Survivor Series elimination matches. Much like a newlywed couple, they were entirely faithful to the concept before getting bored and cheating with regular singles and tag bouts a few years later. What makes this so unique is that each team is comprised of five actual tag teams (you know, when WWE actually had more than just the Hart Dynasty and Usos), so this match is quite the monstrosity with 20 men out there. But it’s easily the best thing on the show.

1988

The Rockers, Powers of Pain, British Bulldogs, Hart Foundation and Young Stallions
vs.
Demolition, The Brain Busters, Bolsheviks, Fabulous Rougeaus and The Conquistadors

Much like the year prior, they’ve taken ten tag teams and lumped them together into one Survivors match. And much like the year prior, it’s easily the best thing on the show. One thing that really strikes you is the sheer number of managers that WWE had in its employ at one time. In this match alone, you’ve got teams managed by Bobby Heenan (who I’m fairly certain managed 48 guys at once), Mr. Fuji, Jimmy Hart and Slick. Anyway, I had completely forgotten that The Conquistadors were called Uno and Dos, which is so incredibly awesome, how could you go wrong picking this?

1989

The Hulkamaniacs (Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts and Demolition)
vs.
The Million $ Team (Ted DiBiase, Zeus and The Powers of Pain)

The thing I loved about these early Survivors matches was that you had team names. I mean, regular tag teams in WWE these days (the ones that are left, anyway) don’t even have real team names. This is where I’ll give TNA credit, at least they have teams like the Motor City Machine Guns and Beer Money. What was the last cool team name in WWE? Anyway, this show was full of great team names (Roddy’s Rowdies, The Enforcers, The King’s Court), but this is the match I remember vividly. They got rid of Zeus real quick here because, well, he was fairly limited in what he could do. In fact, all he really did was choke people and that’s sort of illegal. He had Hogan flat on his back about 3 minutes into this and was choking the life out of him, prompting a hilarious scene that saw referee Earl Hebner violently wrench back on Zeus’s head, trying mightily to pry him off the Hulkster to no avail. When Zeus shoved him away, that was enough for the disqualification. The rest of this was fairly standard stuff, but I always enjoyed seeing Hogan in there with DiBiase because when you really stop and think about it, we never got to see them square off much on TV. They never had a big PPV singles match together.

1990

The Million $ Team (Ted DiBiase, The Undertaker, The Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine)
vs.
The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart)

Yes, this was the show with the giant egg. But it’s also remembered for being the first appearance of The Undertaker, managed by Brother Love. He didn’t last as long as you might think in this match and was counted out after beating the blubber out of Dusty Rhodes, but he looked impressive in delivering his first Tombstone to poor Koko B. Ware. Bret Hart was the real star of the show here as he went all the way to the end with DiBiase and had the crowd buying into all of his near falls. Bret had dedicated the match to his brother Dean, who passed away just 24 hours earlier from kidney failure. Not sure if he requested off this show in light of his brother dying, but if he did, he was obviously turned down. Not to worry, Bret. You did good here. Dean would be proud.

1991

The Gravest Challenge
Hulk Hogan (c) vs. The Undertaker, WWF Championship

This is the night WWF got a rude awakening from its fans. It was obvious that Hogan was not nearly as beloved as he once was and fans were getting tired of his shtick. Undertaker received a fair share of cheers, especially at the end when he scored the three count. The match itself was horrible and largely consisted of Undertaker choking Hogan in different positions for extended periods of time (I was going to make a joke about Zeus and Undertaker forming a team called The Chokers, but the Dallas Cowboys already have that name, so I won’t do it). The best part of all this was the fan dressed as Hogan in the front row. You see, this man was a rather unlucky charm for the Hulkster as, not only did he appear here when Hogan lost his title to Undertaker, but he was also front and center when Hulk lost the title to Yokozuna at the King of the Ring in 1993 and was squashed right out of the WWF. In fact, the only lasting mental image I have of this guy is of him leaning over the guardrail with a sad look on his face like his dog was first shot, then backed over by a Jeep. I’m convinced he was hiding somewhere in the Skydome, too, when Hogan lost to The Rock at WrestleMania 18.

1992

Bret Hart (c) vs. Shawn Michaels, WWF Championship

I used to hate this show with a passion because it was the first time they abandoned the concept of elimination matches (well, they had one) and basically adopted the format they use today. But it has since grown on me and this match is a big reason why. In fact, it may be my favorite Bret vs. Shawn match as it had the perfect length to it (unlike the Iron Man match), a clean submission finish (unlike Montreal) and was very well worked. It was unique for two reasons: one, it was a CHAMPION vs. CHAMPION match with only Bret’s WWF Title on the line, and two, it was never supposed to be that way, let alone the MAIN EVENT of the show. I mean, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, two guys who were wrestling tag matches less than 2 years earlier, in the final match of a WWF pay-per-view? That was unheard of back then. But you see, when you start cracking down on steroids, shit happens. Bret shockingly won the title from Ric Flair about a month or so earlier because Vince wanted the belt on someone who didn’t look like a gassed up monster, and Shawn won the Intercontinental belt from the British Bulldog on “Saturday Night’s Main Event” just a few weeks before the show after Davey Boy was fired for drug-related reasons. I still remember WWF Magazine’s own preview for this show listing Bret vs. Shawn as an undercard match for no titles, while Bulldog was to defend his belt against The Mountie. Sucks to be The Mountie, but not the fans as we were treated to one hell of a main event. Plus, Bret celebrated with Santa to close the show!

1993

The Hart Family (Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Bruce Hart and Keith Hart)
vs.
Shawn Michaels and his Knights (The Red Knight, The Blue Knight and The Black Knight)

If you’re wondering why HBK would have his own team of medieval knights, allow me to explain. Jerry Lawler was to be the captain of that team as he had been feuding with Bret for months, but he went and got himself in some legal trouble. Michaels, who was still on suspension from what is believed to have been a steroid failure, was reinstated and this was his first match back. Family Feud host Ray Combs did the intros to this match and was quite annoying. It’s also marks the first and only time in his WWE career that Bret Hart wore a singlet with no pants. The match itself was very good and, most importantly, was the starting point of the Bret/Owen sibling rivalry. Leave it to Shawn Michaels to stir up shit with the Hart family.

1994

Chuck Norris. Enough said.

1995

The BodyDonnas (Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard, and The 1-2-3 Kid)
vs.
The Underdogs (Marty Jannetty, Hakushi, Barry Horowitz, and Bob Holly)

I’ve always been a fan of the Wildcard Match concept used on this show, and Bret Hart certainly carried Kevin Nash to a very good main event (and a noteworthy one with Diesel’s infamous f-bomb and heel turn), but I was going to go with the all-women’s elimination bout featuring Alundra Blaze, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe and others as I remember it being a great match. However, after seeing the match again recently, that match was fucking horrible. Blown spots galore, which shocked me considering the talents involved, and many moments where the girls just looked totally lost in there. Instead, we’ll go with the opening match, or as I like to call it, Rise of the Curtain Jerkers. This was a really fun match that saw the crowd go crazy whenever Hakushi was in the ring (not nearly enough) and start up a “BARRY!” chant for Horowitz, which just goes to show that you CAN truly get anyone over if you try hard enough. I also chuckled everytime Mr. Perfect would refer to him as “Horriblewitz”. Good stuff here.

1996

Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Sycho Sid, WWF Championship

Oh Madison Square Garden, how I love thee. If you take this match and put it in any other building, I don’t think it would have HALF the heat this match had, and Shawn Michaels likely would have received a warmer welcome. But, as it was, New York hated the dancing babyface and booed him out of the building, while openly embracing the challenger. I know Bret Hart and Steve Austin had a much better match, but this is a spectacle that I never get tired of watching. HBK carries Sid to one of the best matches of his career and loses the title, ending the “Boyhood Dream” and, in my opinion, marking the unofficial start to what would become the Attitude Era. This was during the period where Michaels had Jose Lothario following him around wherever he went, so when Sid grabbed a TV camera and SMASHED Jose in the chest with it (he didn’t belong up on the apron!), that was quite the shocking moment. Jose fakes the best heart attack ever on the floor and as Michaels tends to him, Sid takes that same camera and smashes it over the back of Shawn’s head, muttering an audible “Fuck you!” not once, but twice! One powerbomb later and Sid is your champion. Take note of wrestling superfan Vladimir in the front row (where else would he be?) who looks like he could not be happier to see an old man murdered as he high-fives and hugs the new champion on his way out. If you’ve never seen this match before, it’s worth going out of your way to watch if for no other reason than to see what wrestling crowds were once like.

1997

Bret Hart (c) vs. Shawn Michaels, WWF Championship

I seriously had to rack my brain to remember a single match other than the main event of this show. Well, that’s not really true. I do vividly remember Kane wrestling Dude Love in the darkness with that stupid red light, but I can’t choose that match because it wasn’t particularly good. Truth is, it’s a damn shame this match ended the way it did because Hart and Michaels were well on their way to having one of the better matches the two of them have ever had together. So, we’ll go with this one because, quite frankly, I don’t think the finish of this match has been debated NEARLY enough in the last 13 years.

1998

Steve Austin vs. Mankind, Deadly Game Semi-Finals

It was the first (and only) single elimination tournament for the WWF Title since WrestleMania 4 a decade earlier. I look back fondly on the “Deadly Game” motif, including the awesome theme song, and that gigantic skull entranceway. That being said, there’s not a single match from this tournament that I would rate above 2 ½ stars, which means I’m going to have to go with Steve Austin vs. Mankind in the Semi-Finals by default. This is the match where Shane McMahon turned heel for the first time and flipped Austin the double bird after refusing to count the fall. It’s also the match where Mankind’s pants fell down around his ankles as he was Stunnered by Stone Cold. Foley would make it to the Finals before being “screwed” and Rock began his first of many runs with the gold. It’s also the only Survivor Series to this day to not feature a single, traditional elimination match. Let’s hope it stays that way.

1999

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

It’s the in-ring debut of our Olympic Hero! I can’t get over how much smaller Kurt looked in this match as compared to one of his matches, say, in 2003. Fans in Detroit have the audacity to start a boring chant not long after this match starts, which I totally agree with – Shawn Stasiak was a fucking boring wrestler. The best part of this was Kurt basically stopping the match to get on the mic outside and berate the crowd, an instant recipe for heel heat. Match was nothing, but for historical purposes, this is the one that stands out the most on this show. Had Triple H not had Rikishi run over Stone Cold, that Triple Threat main event would have been one hell of a battle. I just want to vent real quick and deliver a hearty “Fuck you!” to WWE for the blatant bait-and-switch they pulled with that. That’s no way to treat your audience.

2000

Kurt Angle (c) vs. Undertaker’s Pants, WWF Championship

Could it be? Our Olympic Hero makes the list for the second straight show? Oh, it’s true! You don’t need me to tell you how awesome Kurt Angle is, but after just one full year on TV, it’s scary how good he already was. Hell, he was the WWF champion! This was billed as Undertaker’s 10th anniversary, but he wore the most RIDICULOUS pants I think I’ve ever seen. They were either snakeskin leather or something he ran over on the way to the show. I could barely concentrate on the match without being fixated on those ugly pants. How Kurt Angle was able to keep a straight face throughout this bout, I’ll never know. But it was a pretty good match with an incredibly clever finish. You see, Kurt has a brother named Eric who, from a certain distance, looks very much like his sibling. They pull the ‘ol switcheroo at one point and Undertaker delivers a Last Ride Powerbomb on who we THINK is Kurt before going for the cover. Referee Earl Hebner counts two before halting his count and the crowd has no idea what’s going on. Some people see Earl and automatically think “screwjob” all over again. But Earl saw Eric’s face and was smart enough to realize you can’t count a fall on someone if they aren’t even in the match. Kurt sneaks up behind Undertaker and rolls him up for the pin before high-tailing it out of the arena in hilarious fashion. Speaking of fashion, let us not speak of those pants ever again.

2001

Team WWF (The Rock, Chris Jericho, The Undertaker, Kane, and The Big Show)
vs.
The Alliance (Steve Austin, Rob Van Dam, Kurt Angle, Booker T, and Shane McMahon)

There is something inherently wrong with the parting image of what began as a WWF vs. WCW “war” being The Rock pinning Steve Austin. So goes the famously botched “invasion” of 2001, which culminated in this match at Survivor Series where the losing group would die off forever. Kurt Angle, who had defected to The Alliance weeks earlier, was a mole all along as he assisted Team WWF to victory. Best match on the show, but leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I think of what might have been. Sigh.

2002

Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Big Show, WWE Championship

The very first “Elimination Chamber” match was on this show and was great for two reasons: (1) Shawn Michaels got one last run with the title, and (2) RVD nearly killed Triple H with a Frog Splash. Of course, RVD was eating burgers at WWE’s Times Square restaurant the following month during the next PPV, so maybe it wasn’t so great for him, but I digress. This right here was my favorite match. It was mostly comprised of Brock Lesnar (still a heel, mind you) tossing the 500-pound Big Show all over the ring at will and getting cheered at MSG like the biggest babyface since Hulk Hogan. He actually delivered a German Suplex and a Belly-to-Belly OVERHEAD Suplex to Big Show. Take a moment and let that sink in. This was also the first time Lesnar ever hoisted up Big Show to deliver his signature F5 slam, which was one of those moments where time seemed to stand still. It should still be on every WWE highlight reel for the next 50 years. If he would have pinned Show right there, it would have been the perfect finish. Of course, they had to go and fuck it up by having Paul Heyman turn on Brock and align with Big Show, who goes down as the man to hand Lesnar his very first defeat. Dumb finish aside, it wasn’t very long, but this was fantastic stuff.

2003

Team Bischoff (Chris Jericho, Christian, Randy Orton, Scott Steiner, and Mark Henry)
vs.
Team Austin (HBK, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley)

This won’t be the only time in this list where I talk about how great Shawn Michaels was at wrestling psychology. That was on full display here, and as good as many of the other players in this match were, none were better than Michaels. The stipulation was that if Steve Austin’s team lost the match, he would leave WWE. So when it all came down to HBK, with Michaels wearing one of his best crimson masks, it was mesmerizing how he had the fans hanging on his every move. In the end, he could not overcome the odds (take notes Mr. Cena) and as a result, Steve Austin was forced to leave WWE forever! I guess forever in WWE time is 4 months since he was back as a referee at WrestleMania. This may have been the last, truly great Survivor Series elimination match.

2004

Shelton Benjamin (c) vs. Christian, Intercontinental Title

Here are two of the most under-utilized performers in WWE history. They went out there and had the best match on the show. What a surprise. They even gave them some decent time as this match went about 13 minutes or so. Keep that in mind when you consider they gave an Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match almost 16 minutes on the same show.

2005

Triple H vs. Ric Flair, Last Man Standing

This is perhaps the best battle I’ve seen these two men have. The Greensboro match on Raw had more emotion, but this was simply a bloodbath. In fact, I’m pretty sure Ric Flair lost all of the blood in his body, which makes it all the more remarkable that he was able to function when this was over. Flair survived three Pedigrees, but the sledgehammer was too much and the King of Kings reigned supreme. You don’t see matches like this in WWE anymore, so if you’re a newer fan or simply a fan of the old school, check this out.

2006

Mr. Kennedy vs. The Undertaker, First Blood Match

The amount of blood here pales in comparison (see what I did there) to how much we saw the year prior, but nothing compares to the absolutely SICK chairshot delivered by Undertaker to Kennedy after the match to get his heat back. It was difficult to watch back then, let alone now with everyone on concussion-watch 24/7. Ironically, as I write this, Ken Anderson is at home recovering from a severe concussion caused by an errant chairshot to the back of the head.

2007

Randy Orton (c) vs. Shawn Michaels, WWE Championship

This was a one-man show starring Shawn Michaels. I suppose I’m not giving sufficient credit to Orton here, but the psychology in this one was masterful and it’s all because of HBK. Per the rules of the match, Michaels was not allowed to use his signature Superkick, yet he still went out there and had the match of the night. He took us on an emotional rollercoaster with his mannerisms, his pained facial expressions, the near falls, everything was done to perfection. There’s a reason Michaels himself has stated that this is one of his favorite matches of his entire career, and it’s a prime example of why the wrestling ring is a darker place for no longer having him in it.

2008

Team HBK (Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme and The Great Khali)
vs.
Team JBL (John “Bradshaw” Layfield, Kane, MVP, John Morrison and The Miz)

Nothing overly special about this match, but from top to bottom, it was a really well-worked Survivors match. If you’re into shock value, you probably liked Edge winning the WWE Title in the Triple Threat with Kozlov (really) and Triple H. If you’re a loyal resident of the CeNation, you likely enjoyed John Cena’s return title victory over Chris Jericho. Each irritated me in their own way, so they basically negated one another.

2009

John Cena (c) v. Shawn Michaels v. Triple H, WWE Championship

Shameful. In a word, that describes this match. Not the match itself, which was actually really good, but the buildup to it. You may recall it involved a little, green midget and a shitload of comedy. Yes, because what better way to promote your PPV main event with three of your biggest stars than with JOKES. Sure enough, this show was such box office poison, it nearly resulted in the end of the Survivor Series name altogether. Best moment was easily HBK superkicking Triple H out of the ring at the very start, which caught pretty much everyone off guard. From there, it was your standard WWE Triple Threat formula, which is more like condensing three mini-matches into one, but what we did see was great stuff.

EPILOGUE…

I must confess, after about Survivor Series 2002, my brain began to malfunction while trying to come up with worthy matches from the remaining 7 shows. For many of them, YouTube was a great refresher for me, but really, it’s indicative of a larger problem. For one thing, Survivor Series as a pay-per-view has lost much of its luster from the days in which it was conceived. The elimination tag bouts were something unique and became an annual tradition that people would look forward to. Now, WWE might toss one out there for nostalgia like they’re doing again this year, but the show has essentially become just another last minute, haphazardly-assembled PPV offering. Add to that, we’ve already seen multi-man elimination tag bouts at Summerslam and Bragging Rights this year. Secondly, there are so many hours of weekly WWE programming on TV these days that shows like Survivor Series, by design, cannot possibly mean as much as they once did. It’s simply the nature of the business now. When people think of the traditional “Big Four PPV’s”, if you had to pick one show that truly did not belong anymore, this would be the one. I’m happy Vince McMahon changed his mind and decided to stick with the Survivor Series moniker, for its rich history if nothing else, but when I take a step back, I can fully understand why he would have made the decision to axe it. When he said this show was obsolete, in many ways, he was right.

So what do you think of this list? What are YOUR favorite Survivor Series matches and moments? Let your voices be heard in the comments section below!

thesolomonster@gmail.com

WARNING:  Some language contained here may not be PG.  Sorry, Vince.

When I posted my “Vince McMahon Joins Twitter” article the other day, it was all in good fun.  Imagining what the 64-year old WWE chairman might say online is quite an entertaining exercise, but that’s really all it was intended for — entertainment.  But funny enough… TNA has a president who actually is active on Twitter and has quite a lot to say.  Even the founder of TNA, Jeff “Vince won’t take me back so, daddy, please help me open a new company” Jarrett has been unable to resist the urge to tweet to his many followers.

For this, I give them credit.  But that’s about where it ends.  Dixie Carter upset many fans when she teased some surprises on her page several weeks ago and, well, Tommy Dreamer debuted.  Perhaps realizing she had whipped her followers into quite a frenzy, she was forced to tone things down a bit later on and tell people that this big surprise was not a change in creative or a new debut, but rather, a series of changes that would become apparent over the course of several weeks.  While “Impact” has certainly been a better show the past two weeks (I’m grading on a curve here), I’d hardly say any significant changes are apparent with the product.   It’s no secret that the company is moving forward with plans for some sort of “extreme invasion” and they want Paul Heyman to not only run the creative end of things, but to be the on-air leader for this new faction.  Yes, ECW circa 2010.  Heyman has now publicly shat on that idea and has laid out very explicitly what it would take to get him to join TNA.  Will the Carters agree to his demands?  Time will tell.

Meanwhile, give her credit, the lady is persistent if nothing else.  Dixie continues to tease something big on her Twitter page, posting the following less than 24 hours ago:

“Oh, if you guys only knew who I met with today….. You will.”

She could meet with Steve Austin, riding a shark through the high seas, all the way to Hollywood to have brunch with Dwayne Johnson, where all three of them proceed to drive cross-country (all the while singing wrestler theme songs) to sit bedside and keep vigil for the vegetative Undertaker… and I STILL wouldn’t care because who could possibly believe what this woman has to say anymore.  So much hype with such little return does nothing to inspire confidence amongst your fanbase.  The endless promises of “revolutionary” changes have brought with it the same writing staff.  The same 1.0 rating.  The same 20,000 PPV buys.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, well…

Which brings me to ‘ol Double J.  Seems as though he’s gotten in on the fun, too.  He’s been teasing “big news” on his Twitter page as well this week:

“Just received some huge news!”

“Huge news is happening today and tomorrow…”

Later on, he posted several photos as “hints” as to what the news might be.  The first photo appears to be a shot of an island, the second photo shows a giant spotlight, and a third photo shows an airplane wing.  Really.  From this, I can only deduce one thing: TNA will be flying it’s creative team to a remote island for a real-life version of The Condemned to air on Spike.  We can always hope.

In all seriousness, enough with the teases.  I’m guessing Dixie’s news and the news Jeff is talking about are two entirely different things, but the point is the same.  Your company is losing money.  In fact, people are concerned TNA may not exist 12 months from now.  It may not sound like it, but I’d like to see them succeed.  I’d like to see Heyman, or ANYONE with a vision really, step in and be a real game-changer.  The only thing Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff have changed, thus far, is their underwear.  At least I hope they have.  Quit fucking around and just DO SOMETHING instead of talking about it.

Shit or get off the pot.  Other people need to use it, too, you know.

thesolomonster@gmail.com

P.S. Follow me on Twitter, I may have HUGE NEWS in the next few days!!!  Or I may not.