MAILBAG: Someone Actually Asked a Question About Brakus!

SEScoops Mailbag for December 2nd

(please submit YOUR questions to sescoops@gmail.com)

Q: A few mailbags ago you said that “Cult of Personality” was the first song to be licensed for a entrance theme. There have been a few superstars that have used popular music as entrance themes. Bastista used “I Walk Alone” by Godsmack, Undertaker used “American Badass” by Kid Rock along with “Rolling” by Limp Bizkit, and Orton uses “Voices” by Rev Theory right now. So how can C.M. Punk be the first to have Vince license his music for him? – Nick

A: If you are referring to the September 9th mailbag, I never said Punk’s music was the first to be licensed by WWE. A reader alluded to the company spending a great deal of money on the rights to the song, which is correct. What differentiates that from those Limp Bizkit songs is that WWE does not have to overdub the music on their DVD or On Demand content with Punk’s song. Secondly, Godsmack’s song was actually called “I Stand Alone”, which was used in The Scorpion King film and not by Batista. Third, Rev Theory recorded the song “Voices” exclusively for Randy Orton and WWE to use. Hope this clears up any confusion.

Q: With CM Punk and almost every single member of the WWE Universe expressing extreme displeasure with the current WWE title belt design, why does the [company] insist on keeping the belt like that? – Kon from New York

A: Did you really just use the term WWE Universe in my mailbag? I’ll forgive you, but just this once. They have kept the current design as long as they have for two reasons. One, it is associated with John Cena’s character (although admittedly, it’s moreso his old rapper gimmick than the Marine gimmick he’s been using for the last few years) and Cena remains the face of the company. But the real reason probably has to do with the money they’ve been making off replica belt sales. I don’t have the exact figures, but if it wasn’t making them any money, they would have switched it up long ago. With WWE.com doing a two-part feature this week on essentially how dated the current design is, I’m hopeful a change is going to be made very soon.

Q: After reading that RVD wants to come back to WWE after his contract is up in TNA, I have a question. If you were Vince McMahon, would you bring back superstars like RVD, Mr. Kennedy, Kurt Angle or Jeff Hardy after going to TNA to trash talk WWE, saying the company sucks and they would never go back? – Elvir Bajric

A: I believe you are referring to a recent Tweet from Powerslam Magazine in the UK, which claimed that someone told them Rob Van Dam was seriously considering a return to WWE. We’ve heard nothing beyond that and RVD still has some time left on his TNA contract. Could it be true? Sure, but it would go against everything Van Dam has talked about with respect to having an easier schedule in TNA and also not having to deal with WWE’s Wellness Policy, which forbids the use of marijuana and any synthetic substitutes. Either he’s hard up for money or I just don’t buy it. As for bringing back old names that have trashed the company after leaving, if I’m Vince McMahon, I do what’s good for business. If he thinks he can make money off RVD and Jeff Hardy, then he will sign them (make no mistake, they would take Hardy back in a heartbeat). Except for Mister Anderson. I’d let him rot.

Q: It seems you don’t have to be 6’4 250 to mean something in WWE anymore. [Since] banning steroids, we’ve seen guys like Rhodes, Ziggler, Bryan and others get big pushes though only being around 200lbs. Do you think we will start to see more smaller guys getting big pushes or is Vince still stuck on the big guys like [Mason] Ryan? – Rob

A: Vince still has and will always have an infatuation with big guys. That has never changed and is why we have Mason Ryan on our TV each week, or why Jackson Andrews got brought up to TV only to be sent right back down because he was too green The reason smaller guys are getting opportunities to shine, besides them being very talented, is because WWE doesn’t really have any choice in the matter. There aren’t enough big, jacked up dudes talented enough to fill up an entire roster. They’ve gutted their own developmental system since severing ties with OVW and have no choice but to push guys like Ziggler, Rhodes, Bryan and Miz or else their company is going to be in a lot of trouble in the next few years. Even when they bring a guy up who *is* big and does have talent, but might not have that look they like (e.g. Husky Harris), they get sent right back down to Florida. Their entire mentality has to change.

Q: I just read a question on CM Punk on what he says when he comes to the ring, which brings me to Triple H. When he goes on the ropes after a win or before a match, I see him talking to the crowd, but for ten years now I can’t figure out what he says. Can you help me out with that? – Shaun Perez

A: I always thought he was repeating “Bow down to me, little jobbers” over and over again, but I could be wrong. Really, I think it’s just a bunch of gibberish, kind of like what Chris Jericho would mutter to himself whenever he walked to the ring.

Q: Back in 1998 when an influx of mid-carders debuted (Val Venis, The Godfather, Edge, and Salvatorre Sincere), I can vaguely recollect a wrestler debuting by the name of [Brakus]. He was billed as the German-suplex machine, and came to the ring with a manager (who I do not remember). He did not stay with the company very long, but I remember him being built up as WWE’s response to WCW’s Goldberg. He even wore traditional black tights and boots, and was mechanical like when coming down to the ring, no nonsense intensity. Years later when seeing Brock Lesnar debut, I immediately thought that [Brakus] returned and WWE repackaged him as “The Next Big Thing”. So was Lesnar’s gimmick a rebooted version of Brakus? Who was the German-suplex machine and what became of him? I can not find ANYTHING documenting his run ANYWHERE! I know I am not hallucinating, I swear on The Truth Commission. – Robby

A: You’re not hallucinating. Brakus was a German bodybuilder (surprise surprise) and former Mr. Olympia contestant with a great physique, but there was a slight problem. He couldn’t wrestle worth a shit and could barely speak English. “He’s Coming” vignettes featuring the guy actually began airing on TV in 1997, but to the best of my knowledge, he didn’t show up until the WWF’s Mayhem in Manchester PPV a week or so after WrestleMania 14, losing to Jeff Jarrett in the opening match (he may have had a loss to Goldust on “Shotgun Saturday Night” the month prior, but I can’t find footage of this). Around this same time, with Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman working together, he had a brief stint in ECW (as in one match where he lost to Taz). A few months later, he was embarrassed by Savio Vega in the opening round of the Brawl For All tournament. That killed whatever aura he may have had and after that, he had one match on Raw where he squashed Jesus of Los Boricuas and was done. In short, he was a big guy that Vince thought he could turn into a star and failed miserably. With Lesnar, he succeeded, but Lesnar was a star athlete with actual talent. If you want to learn about perhaps the most epic fail when it comes to big man hopes, look up Tom Magee.

Q: Why is Cody Rhodes now wearing knee pads? When did he start wearing them? – Trust

A: I believe he started at Survivor Series. It was all anybody was talking about in my section at MSG when he walked out. Hopefully he did it because someone smacked some sense into him and told him his career might last longer if he did.

Q: Have you played WWE ’12 yet? If so, what do you think of it? – James T.

A: WWE ’12? You mean there were 11 others before this!? I’ve got some catching up to do.

Keep those questions coming to sescoops@gmail.com and remember to include your name!