Santa Hogan (Ho-Ho Hogan), John Cena & Seth Rollins Open Up RAW
The Christmas-themed edition of WWE RAW opens up with a shot of the stage, which is decked out with a few Christmas trees and other holiday-themed decorations. We are then shown a graphic that promotes a special “Piper’s Pit” segment with Roddy Piper and special guests, Rusev and Lana. Then, we are told that Roman Reigns and Big Show will go one-on-one in a singles match and Dean Ambrose and Bray Wyatt will square off in a “Miracle on 34th Street Match.”
From there, a familiar theme song plays as WWE Hall Of Famer Hulk Hogan, tonight’s RAW guest host, comes out dressed up as Santa Claus. He’s got the hat, the beard, the suit. The works. You can’t even tell it’s Hogan.
“Ho Ho Ho, Brother!” begins Hogan. He says tonight, Ho-Ho Hogan is here to spread cheer all over Monday Night RAW, “brother.” The fans break out in a “Hogan! Hogan! Hogan!” chant. He corrects them and gets them to chant “Ho-Ho Hogan! Ho-Ho Hogan!” He says tonight he’s going to be giving presents to all of the WWE Superstars and to us, the WWE Universe. He promotes some of the aforementioned matches and segments announced for tonight’s show.
As he goes to wrap up, John Cena’s theme song hits. Out comes the leader of the Ce-Nation to a loud, mostly positive reaction. When the music stops, the “mostly positive” reaction switches quickly to a loud mixed-bag reaction. Cena goes into a rant about Santa Claus and Hulk Hogan being icons. The fans break out in another “Ho-Ho Hogan!” chant. Cena sings and jokes about what he wanted for Christmas, but says that changed when “this happened.” With that said, we see a shot of last week’s cage match on RAW when Cena was attacked by Brock Lesnar and then Paul Heyman shook hands with Seth Rollins.
After the video package ends, the fans break out in a loud “We Want Lesnar” chant. Cena says he wants Lesnar too — he wants to kick his teeth down his throat. Cena says most people would complain about what happened in last week’s cage match, but not him. He says last week he lost to Rollins fair and square, but after that loss he changed his Christmas wish. All he wants is a match — tonight — versus Seth Rollins. He promises he’ll be ready for anything tonight. He asks “Ho-Ho Hogan” what he thinks.
Before Hogan can answer, Seth Rollins’ theme song hits. Out he comes with Joey Mercury, Jamie Noble and a shiney, dented-up golden briefcase. Rollins says he can’t believe what he’s hearing out here. He brags about Curb-Stomping Cena’s head into the mat last week. He tells Cena he told him a couple weeks ago that nobody wants to hear his “stupid voice” anymore. He says he didn’t come out here to disrespect anybody. He says Hogan and Cena are absolute legends. He says in their respective eras they took WWE to big heights, but he says Cena’s time is up, and his time is now. The fans boo. Rollins says he’s the future of WWE, the new standard bearer. He warns Cena that if he wants to last one more day in the Rollins era, that’s something he’s going to have to accept. The fans start chanting “You Sold Out.”
Rollins says the real reason he’s out here is to tell us that “Ho-Ho Hogan” shouldn’t be running RAW tonight, it should be The Authority. The fans chant “Ho-Ho Hogan” again. Rollins says Triple H and Stephanie McMahon deserve to be here tonight. The fans boo, so Rollins says that boo’ing that is not the holiday spirit. He says people like Hogan running this show is what is running this company down the toilet. He says all of this started at Survivor Series when “The Vigilante” Sting stuck his nose in their business. He tells Santa that if he doesn’t grant him his Christmas present, he’s not gonna be so lucky. He says what he wants is for Hogan to force Cena to do the right thing and bring The Authority back.
“Would you just shut up. Shut up. You’re putting these poeple to sleep damnit, shut up,” says Cena. He goes on a rant about how Rollins has become a complete scumbag. He says if Rollins comes down to the ring, he’ll give him a shiney pair of green sneakers up his ass. Is that a PG comment? He tells Rollins to come down here and shut him up or walk away like the coward he is. He tells him he’s not bringing The Authority back.
“Ho-ho-hold on a minute,” says Hogan. He says tonight, Seth Rollins is gonna face John Cena in the first match tonight on RAW. “So Ho-Ho-Ho!” finishes Hogan. Cena takes his shirt off and prepares for battle. Hogan puts his Santa hat on Cena. “So whatcha gonna do, when Hulk Hogan, the WWE Universe and all of the Christmas cheer run wild on you, brother!” Hogan’s music hits and we head to our first commercial break of the evening. Cena-Rollins is up next.
